Friday, December 28, 2007

Time & Dreams

Funny thing about time. It either goes to fast or not fast enough. Your wedding day, waiting for the birth of a child or for a child you are adopting whose picture you have looked at for months, that is when time seems to stop. Then your married and your kids are growing up and you want time to slow down.
I started off 2007 year by leaving for Vietnam on January 3rd to bring home our daughter Kennedy. We will start of 2008 by telling Dustin goodbye January 1st. What a difference a year makes.
It seems like Dustin just came home and now in a few days he will go back to continue his training as a Marine. The hard thing this go around is we have no clue when we will see him again. When he was at boot camp we knew we would see him in three months. We know he has around 3 months of training left, then he will find out were he is stationed and by his estimate probably be deployed around June or July. OK time, you can stop now.
Nineteen years today my mom passed away. I was five months pregnant with Dustin. Now with that being said as faithful as I am and as much as I trust the Lord I am me so it goes without saying I have been stressing a little about finding a job and the foundation. So early this morning 6:30 am to be exact I had a dream. In the dream I was upset and this woman came up to me an grabbed my hand. She sat in a chair and I sat at her feet. She was smiling and so radiant. She was trying to tell me something. She had something in her hand and she wanted me to listen. She kept saying see, isn't it wonderful? But what impressed me most was the fragrance she was wearing. In my dream I could smell it so clearly and it was so familiar. Then Mike woke me up! I could still smell the fragrance and I realized it was White Shoulders! The only perfume my mom ever wore! I didn't even realize what today was until I spoke to my sister. I think my mom came to me in my dreams to let me know everything is going to be just fine. Thanks mom. And most of all thank you God for knowing how to always get my attention!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What a wonderful world!

Click on the x twice on the music video to make it smaller. If the music from the other post plays just click on "What a wonderful world on the right side of the video. Sorry I am not tech savvy! If you can tell me how to fix it let me know! Enjoy!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Don't Let Them Stand Alone

There is a site where you can donate money to help families travel to their Marines graduation. The Marines have a saying "No Marine Stands Alone" You can bet if I see one standing alone we will Adopt him! Please pray about giving.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Hope & Faith

Hope & Faith are a powerful thing. When you have them nothing is impossible, I mean nothing. But if you don't have them, then you have nothing.
When I left my job to pursue this dream, this purpose God put in my heart I was very hopeful and very faithful. On the days when I felt hopeless and faithless I also felt defeated. That is when I realized how powerful these two words are. They are my kryptonite! So I made a decision to never, ever be hopeless or faithless again. With them I can do anything. God stands by the faithful.
When God puts a dream/ purpose in your heart He does so for a reason. He never said it would be easy, but He did say has long as you stayed faithful and have hope these dreams will become real. It is up to you. If you stay faithful and hopeful through not only the good but also the bad and trying times God will bless you. If you just want to hang it up and not try then your dreams will never become a reality. What blessing you will miss out on! We only need the faith of a mustard seed. A mustard seed! Thats it. Do you know how small a mustard seed is? Good grief.
Ok all I can do is speak from my own experience and trust me I have had many. But as long as I have remained faithful, hopeful and persevered God has taken care of me. I am going to write down the words to my favorite song of all time " You are God". It is on Point of Grace new cd HOW YOU LIVE, track 6 then track 7 is also awesome. Oh the whole cd is awesome!
But anyway I sing this song at least once a day because in a way it is a prayer.

When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes you are good, so good
In the heat of the day with each stone that I lay you are good, so good
With every breath I take in, I'll tell you I'm grateful again
When the moon rises high before each kiss goodnight you are good
When the road starts to turn around each bend I've learned you are good, so good
And when somebodys hands hold me up, helps me stand you are good, so good
With every breath I take in, I will tell you I'm grateful again
Cause it's more than enough just to know I am loved and you are good.
So how can I thank you and what can I bring
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a king
So I'll sing you a love song, Its all that I have
To tell you I'm grateful for holding my life in your hand
When it's dark and your cold and I can't feel my soul you are still good
When the world has gone gray and the rains here to stay you are still good
With every breath I take in, I'll tell you I'm grateful again
And the storm may swell, even then it is well and you are good.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Semper Fi & Sons

What you will do to hear you sons voice! Yesterday I was standing across the street from the school waiting for Cameron. I was talking on my cell to my sister in Texas. All of the sudden I see Jordan running towards me with Kennedy on her back! She said "mama Dustin is on the phone!" I thought she said he was calling me on my cell, so I told my sister bye. She said " no mom he is on the phone and he only has 10 minutes." Jordan stayed to wait for Cameron and this old girl took off. I can run! This African American lady saw me and she was grinning and cheered me on! She said " You go girl you can do it!" By the time I got home (after running a little over 1/2 a block) he had hung up. I was devastated. He called back a minute later but he only had like 3 minutes to talk and you could tell he was disappointed as was I.
He needed to know our travel arrangements and to tell me his platoon video was up on the website.
This is awful but I went to the site, found his platoon and couldn't tell which one was him! Even my daughters couldn't tell. Their hats are way down over their eyes and they all have the same look. Anyway we narrowed it down to 3. We even go his senior picture down and tried to compare chins and noses! Mike came home and it took a minute but there he was! 3rd row down 5th from the left (or the one in the middle) and about 40 pounds lighter! It was like getting your referral picture when you adopt. You just keep looking at it over and over. I couldn't download the video so I pulled it up, froze the frame and took a picture of him! A picture I will carry with me for a very long time.
Dustin blew up the motor in his car and we sold it for junk. My sister and I were out there cleaning it out. He loved to go mudding. Man did he! There was mud in the car! I found his Cd's, mud, his rugby jersey, mud, and his cleats and yes more mud. I miss him so much. See right now I know he will be home for at least 10 days after graduation, but after that we have no clue when we will see him again.
I think the hardest part of being a parent is letting go. You wonder if they ever listened to anything you ever said. Do they still pray and seek God for strength and guidance? You pray they make wise decisions, drive safely, be kind and you hope they know how much they are loved and that you would do anything in the world for them. Including lay down your life for them. Then you realize your son is going to be a Marine. He has to have courage and honor to come to this decision. He is willing to lay down his life for his country, our freedom. You see that he is good and brave and strong and you have to let go and continue to pray.
We have three sons and they no longer live at home. They are all great guys with big hearts who adore their little sisters. I can not think of a time after they have spoken to me or Mike that they have not said; on the phone, in person, in front of friends, they will yell it across the room "I love you." I miss the days of baseball, basketball, loud rock music and late night talks. I miss the piles of laundry, empty fridge and their guy humor. Yes, I miss my boys, but I look forward to watching these young men grow. What a blessing they have been, are and always will be. Thank you Michael, Cody and Dustin for being my guys! I love you.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


Cameron is my middle daughter. Cameron came home one day shy of 15 months old. Cameron got off the plane with a look that could kill and attitude everywhere! And the girls still got it! For those of you who know Cameron this comes as no surprise. Don't get me wrong, she has a smile that can melt your heart and a heart as big as Texas, and she has turned out to be a great big sister.

I have a list of "Cameronisms" from the time she could talk. I use to share them at work and the girls would crack up.
The last couple of weeks Cameron has been in rare form.
Let me go back to last school year. Cameron, for whatever reason was constantly going to the nurses office. After a while I would ask the nurse if she thought she would live. Nine times out of 10 the answer was yes and I would tell her to keep her! Towards the end of the year I told her if she kept going to the nurses office she would have to repeat 2nd grade. The visits stopped. Big shocker.

This year was going great until last week. She was actually sick and I went to pick her up. Then 2 days later she was in again. I could tell the nurse was trying not to laugh (we have developed an understanding over the last year) She said Cameron was in the office and told her that she couldn't lift her arms and could hardly walk. Cameron on her own diagnosed herself with low blood sugar. I started laughing. I told the nurse she probably got that off the Discovery Health Channel! We agreed she should keep her. iIt was Thursday and Cameron has gymnastics. When she came home from school I told her I didn't think she should go to gymnastics seeing that her arms were so weak. I was afraid they might collapse and she would hit her head or something. (Oh yea 2 can play this game!) The look on her face..."But mom I ate something and my blood sugar is fine now." hmmm... "Cameron, where did you get this info on blood sugar?" TV. Oh really?

So a couple of days ago I am watching a very hilarious DVD with Anita Renfro. SHE IS CRAZY! Anyway she is doing this funny skit about mammograms. Now this was filmed in front of a live audience. She ask "who has had a mammogram?" Cameron raises her hand!!! After I left the room laughing my head off, I came back and said "Cameron you have had a mammogram?" She looked very thoughtful and said " Yes mom I believe so." OK.

Cameron, don't ever change!

Sunday, November 4, 2007


Four years ago today my daughter and I were coming home from South Korea with a very special gift. We had the wonderful privilege of bringing home four month old Kooper to his mommy and daddy. It is a feeling neither one of us will ever forget. I had escorted babies home before, but this little guy was special. We were going to watch him grow up and be involved in his life. For Jordan bringing Kooper home brought her full circle. She came home to us from South Korea just 2 days shy of being four months old. She was only eight when we brought Kooper home but she fully understood the significance of it. Happy Gotcha Day Kooper, We love you! Did I mention Kooper will be my future son in law? :)
November is National Adoption Month. We celebrate how our lives have been touched by adoption. We bring awareness to the hundreds of thousand of orphans in the world who are still waiting for their forever families. This year our church is celebrating The Hug Away Foundation. Our prayer is that families who have been called to adopt will not let the financial aspects of adoption stop them from pursuing this wonderful blessing. We hope to raise so much money that we can help families with some of the cost. International, Domestic, it does not matter. We want to help.
Please, please say a prayer for the orphans. Pray we can help lots of them come home to their forever families.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Life & Halloween

Is truly like a rollercoaster. Your up, your down, you level out for a while, then WHAM! Life throws you a curve and down you go. The question is, can you handle the ride?
I left my job one month ago today. It seems more like a year and I have been on the craziest roller coaster ride of my life! But I know without a doubt God has been with me every step of the way.
My faith is being tested, there is no doubt about that. There have been days I wanted to give up, but I believe that God has a plan in all this and I would like to see what it is. In order to do that I have to let Him keep control. So much easier said than done. But He knows my needs and He will make sure they are met.
The picture is of my daughters and grand kids. I look at them and my heart melts and I realize how blessed I truly am. They are so young but in the picture is 3 aunts a nephew and a niece. Cracks me up. My grandson just now quit calling Kennedy Aunt.
I dislike Halloween very much. I have for a long time but now more so than ever. From the time Kennedy came home she has slept in her own bed, all night no problem. BUT a few weeks ago we were at Walmart and she looked up and there was this huge evil looking monster hanging from the ceiling. Life has not been the same since. Add in the scary movies previews that come on in between kiddie shows and you have a little girl who is terrified to go to sleep at night. Every night I hear, I afwaid mommy, I afwaid. Breaks my heart. I mean it is pitiful and you can tell she is truly scared. I hope the guy in the big red suit doesn't have a negative affect on her.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Lessons I have learned from my son the future Marine

Dustin has taught me so many things since he announced he wanted to join the marines. I remember the day he told me my heart sank. He said "mom, I am going to join all I want is your blessings." I couldn't give him the one thing he was asking for. One day on the way to work I was praying and asking for peace and wisdom concerning Dustin's decision. A few minutes later I heard God speak to my heart and say "Elaine I will take care of him." This peace came over me and I knew Dustin would be OK. When I gave him my blessings he was so happy and said "mom that is all I want."
Dustin had some medical issues growing up. Ulcer at 10, tourettes, weight gain (started when the put him on meds for his tourettes.) He would hold in his twitches(tourettes) until he got home and would be so miserable. It was awful. But all along he knew one day he wanted to be a Marine.
He has lost weight, his tourettes is under control. his ulcer is better. Today he wrote this in a letter. He goes to church every Sunday, he really enjoys it and it makes him homesick. When he thinks he can't do something he ask God to get him through it. He said he feels God has His hands on him through all of this. He works out at night on his own to try and improve himself
He believes he was born to do this. I believe him.
I had met a woman whose son had served in the Marine Corp and then signed up again after 9/11. She told me Marines are born. I believe this is Gods plan for Dustin. He knew it, did what it took to make it and in six weeks I will go watch my son as his dream comes true. He will be a Marine.
So what have I learned? That if you want it bad enough you can achieve it despite some obstacles that may be in the way. When God has a plan for your life He will get you there as long as you let Him help you. That a mother can let go and watch her baby boy grow up and do exactly what God has called Him to do. After all he belongs to God.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The truth is...

For a long time, longer than I can remember I have sometimes wished I had a different personality. You know...quiet, behind the scenes, not quite as talkative, serving God without anyone noticing. You know who I am talking about. I so admire women like this. I wish I could be more like them, until...
This morning I woke up early.The house was quiet and I sat down and had a visit with my Father in heaven. We went through a lot of stuff. The most important word He gave me was that my personality was fine, I need it to do what He lays on my heart but what I need to change is my attitude. What? That was not what I was expecting to hear.
He revealed to me that He made my personality the way it was so I could survive growing up. It was the tool He gave me to make it. Now someone may read this and think "Hey I had a bad childhood or my life stinks, why didn't He give me a personality to survive?" He did. He also gave us a free will. We could let the circumstances rule us or dig deep into our spirit and pull out the gifts He gave us. We make choices.
I felt defeated many times but I would always let my personality take charge and for that I am very grateful. I did not become a Christian until I was 37 years old but I always felt there was something or someone bigger than this life watching over me and whatever or whoever this something was, it was greater and more powerful than I would ever imagine. At the age of 37 I realized it was Jesus Christ. He was always with me, walking beside me, knowing someday I would desire to know Him and have a personal and intimate relationship with Him.
I know someone is also thinking "easy for you!" No it wasn't, not at all. I made a choice to not let the circumstances get the best of me and knew deep in my soul that life COULD be better than this. My life is better, much better and blessed than I could have ever imagined. Now I thank God for the personality He gave me. The attitude needs a little bit of work.
I need to own up. Any problems I have at this time in my life I created. No one else, just me. Gods promise to me is this, if I trust in Him and believe in Him, depend on Him, all my needs, not my wants, my needs will be met.
Sounds good to me, very good.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Hang in there

Commit to the Lord in whatever you do and you will succeed. Proverbs 16:3. I know this is true.
I have to remember that God put this dream of HUG AWAY in my heart and as long as I do this in His name it will succeed. It has not been easy but I know it will happen.
A friend gave Dustin a beautiful stand that says Be strong in the Lord. Ephesians 6:10 The day he left I came home and saw it sitting on our tv. He had placed it there before he left so I would see it when I came home. It was his way of saying to his mom "hang in there" and that is what I feel God is saying to me. So for God, Dustin and Hug Away I will hang in there.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


WOW,WOW,WOW! In the past 10 days I have seen God work in my life and answer prayer in ways I never would have imagined.
When I left Dillon Int. to begin this ministry I believed God would take care of me. I needed a part time job and hoped to find one as flexible as my job at Dillon had been. I worked at home most of the time and usually only 25 hours a week. I kept putting off job hunting because I just knew God had the perfect job for me.
Last Tuesday there was a job fair and I went to it. There were lots of great companies, but I felt like my job wasn't here. I remembered there had been an ad in the paper for an account manager, part time, flexible. I thought why not. I went into the office and met this cowboy. He was a really nice guy. We hit it off and next thing I know I have a job! 10-15 hours a week making $100 less than I was making. He owns a large janitorial service and I am the account manager. MY job is to make sure the clients are happy. I can work one whole day or a couple hours a day as long as I make contact! A perfect job! He said come to work Monday and we will go meet clients. I was so excited. Saturday I ended up in an ambulance thinking I suffered a heart attack. I was not going to make it to work Monday. I called the gentleman and he asked if I was ok and said whenever your ready to start let me know. Ends up I was in the hospital until Monday night, by the way thank you God it wasn't a heart attack but a spasmatic esophagus.
So I started my job today and it is going to be so awesome. God is good.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

The Fair

My,my,my,my,my.....The state fair is an enigma. And that is a nice word for it. Strange people, to expensive, to loud, SCARY! But great food! We love the food. Seriously. We don't rides rides so we eat and look at all the interesting people and see friends we have not seen in a while. We walk around and look at the hot tubs, RVs ,back yard makeovers talk about "if" we had this or that and gripe about how expensive everything is.
Of course this was Kennedy's first Fair and we thought for sure she would freak out. NOT. She cried when we left but not while we were there. She rode the kiddy rides and loved it.
Saw an older man who asked if "those were my oriental girls" sigh. Yes they are my oriental girls. Sorry we had already been at the fair 5 hours, ate a huge corn dog, a polish sausage and a funnel cake, I just didn't have it in me to explain, correct or even give a dirty look. I just looked at my husband and said "come on babe, time to go home."

Friday, October 5, 2007


"I know that because GOD LOVES ME, I can do wonderful things. I can try GREAT THINGS, learn anything, ACHIEVE anything. Maya Angelou.

I love this saying. It says it all. God loves me. Good, bad, happy or sad, He always loves me. Embrace that thought if you will. Isn't that amazing? Doesn't it give you goosebumps?
No I have not found a job and I have no clue what is going to happen tomorrow, the only thing I am sure of is yesterday, today and forever God loves me. What else do I need?
Let me tell you something. When you have done what you believe God has called you to do, you are stepping into the unknown, the only known is Gods love.

"Whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
That is my hearts desire. It should be every person on earths desire. Imagine this world If that was every ones desire.

The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise Him, my father's God, and I will exalt Him. Exodus 15:2
God has called me to do something for Him. He will give me strength and love me.

Everyday, it doesn't matter if it is from reading my bible or a devotional or a conversation or prayer. Every single day I have to make time to remember God. This reminds me He is in control, not me. He will meet my needs and He has a plan for me. I will know that plan ONLY if I am quiet and listen.
I am so not perfect, I mess up on a daily basis but it is that conscious effort of keeping His word in my heart that reminds me I am forgiven, I am loved and He has big plans for my life.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007


I am officially unemployed. Now what? Need to find a good part time job. Need to get the foundation off the ground. Need to let God stay in control.
So on to other things. I have to share the cutest picture of Kennedy and her 2 boyfriends. They were counselors at Korea Camp and it was love at first sight for all of them. We saw them the other day and they were all so excited to see each other. They are so cute!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Faith is hard! But it is worth it!

Man who ever said being faithful was easy apparently never stepped out themselves. I have never been so excited, blessed, scared, nervous, doubtful (about me) in my whole life. For those who have just began to read this blog, I left a very good job without having another lined up (I still believe God has one planned for me) to begin a ministry at my church that I started a couple of years ago called "The Hug Away Foundation" I felt God was telling me it was time to get this going. Staying at my job was a conflict of interest so I had to make a choice. It wasn't hard (except the making no money part.) But I would be lying if I didn't confess I am a little apprehensive about finding the right job that will also allow me to devote the time I need to the ministry. With that being said....
We are off to a good start. We are starting a change drive through the months of October and November (no I had no clue Steven Curtis Chapman was doing the same thing!) We are asking other churches, businesses, individuals to help out if they feel the "tug." Oh yea the ministry is to offer grants to families who have been called to adopt. My husband and I have been there, done that and are very aware of what a blessing these grants are. We also had a great article in our local newspaper.
There is so much to do! Right now I am the pr person, fundraiser coordinator, I have to find someone to do the logo for nothing person, and anything else you can think of and enjoying every minute of it!
If you could lift this ministry up in prayer that would be so awesome!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

This girl we call Kennedy

She never ceases to amaze me. She is beautiful,
smart, kind and funny. I can't believe she has been home 8 months. This picture was taken the week she came home. Dad isn't in love is he?
She is still tiny but she has grown 2 inches. She can count and say her ABC's. She says the most beautiful prayers and like Cameron did when she was little it is more like a long conversation, a very long conversation with God. She talks about her day, from me buckling her up in her car seat to playing with Kooper (her future husband) and she always ask God to take care of each of us by name. All 8 of us! She has changed so much in some ways but in others ways she is still that little girl that walked up to me in Ninh Thuan and kissed my cheek the first time I saw her.
I look at those beautiful dark eyes and say Thank you God for choosing us to be her family.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Watch the Attitude!

Leave it to a comment from a sweet innocent little girl (who meant no harm) to make you sit down and do a quick self evaluation. The last few days I have been a, well not a nice word. Heck if I could I would get away from me!
This morning Mike was out running and I was fixing breakfast for the girls. Mike walks in and he has on his softball shirt. On the front of his shirt is this big bright flaming softball with a scary face and grrrr teeth. Kennedy points to the softball and said "that's mommy!" ouch. Now mind you last week I was Tinkerbell and then Cinderella. Today I am a scary softball!
I admit sometimes I choose to be mad and in a nasty mood. I let satan get in my thoughts and he fills me with doubts and insecurities.
I don't want my kids to look at me and see a scary softball, I mean I am no flying fairy or Cinderella either. I am just a mom trying to walk the walk instead of always talking the talk.
I am trying to be obedient and do God's will in my life. I want to make a difference. I want to stand before God one day and hear Him say "job well done my good and faithful servant."
So if you are reading this I have a request. Pray for me. Pray I stay strong and I keep the attitude of a servants heart. Tell satan to go back to HELL! That there is no room for him around here. I really need to be covered in prayer. If you know me at all I very rarely ask for prayer for myself, but I am now. I will not list all the huge changes going on in my life at once and what needs there are. God knows. Just say a prayer for me. I don't want to look like a scary, flaming, grrr softball anymore or feel like I have been hit with a bat! I want to glorify God.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Baby Boy

I miss my baby boy tonight, this morning, whatever (it is 3:45am) I miss him a lot. He has been gone two weeks and it seems like two years. I am having a bad night. Yes, even the faithful go through valley's and mine is pretty deep right now.
He wrote us some letters. He has bronchitis. He was down because they have him on light duty. He is a little homesick but he loves what he's doing.
Anyway I miss my baby boy. My 207 pound, 6 foot baby boy.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

God is God

"and I am not. I can only see a glimpse of the picture He is painting."These are some words to one of my favorite songs by Steven Curtis Chapman. Pretty much brings me back to reality. Ex specially when I am trying to take control from Him. So the last eight hours have been for lack of a better word ''AWESOME!"
Last night at yet again 2:00 am I woke up and could not go back to sleep. I turned on the TV and there was the 700 Club. I like this show. Yes I am a Baptist but I look for the truth. Te be honest I have no clue what denomination the 700 club is but they do speak a lot of truth. Last night taught about faith. Faith is a gift. There are lots of Christian's out there without faith. When you believe and you have faith you can move mountains. It was a very good lesson and yet again through scripture God affirmed I am doing what I am suppose to do. The show goes off and I still can not sleep. I open up a journal I have and when I opened it up there was a little card with Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Confirmation. I open up the drawer to my nightstand and there were a stack of little cards with bible verse on them. I pick them up and the first one I see is exactly the same as the one in my journal. coincidence? I think not. I came in to work this morning and the first phone call I receive was from a wonderful adoptive mom wishing me the best on my new journey. She was so supportive. Again confirmation.
When we are stepping out in faith we need these signs to help us along. To confirm this is what we are to do. I hope my faith is always as strong as it is at this moment.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Doors/keys and hatchets

I feel good again. "You can't keep a good woman down" or as my husband says "you can't keep a good, bull headed, hyper woman down!"
I went to see my youngest sister today. She has had a very tough life. Some of it because of poor choices and the rest because of abusive people.
Let me tell you how this started. I have been trying to reach out to her more so she would feel like someone cared and she had a connection. In the process witnessing to her. She did come over to watch the girls when I had my surgery last week. This is a huge step. Kennedy adored her and she adored Kennedy. Great thing about kids, they love us for who we are. No conditions. Anyway Kennedy and I walk out the front door and I realized my keys were in the house. To make a long 45 minute saga short my husband could sleep through a bomb! Grrrr...... so after 45 minutes of pounding the door, ringing the doorbell and calling I went to the side garage door. AHA! Next to the door was a hatchet. You guessed it. Stand back Kennedy! I chopped the door handle off! I put a lot of thought on how I could get in through that door with minimal damage. Chopping of the knob seemed logical. I get to the door that leads to the kitchen. LOCKED! I hit, I jimmied. Nothing. I was next to tears and besides being mad at Mike for sleeping so hard I was a little concerned about him. I thought he was in a coma or something. I took a deep breath and prayed. I said "God please help me get this door open. You work my hands." I tried the screwdriver very calmly, jiggle here, jiggle there and the door opened! I was like " thank you God!" wow. No one and I mean no one ever tell me that God doesn't listen to our prayers big or small.
So on the way to my sisters I was reliving this moment. I was so grateful. I was thinking to myself "There is no problem to big or small for God." HELLO! Yet another way God got my attention. He knows I am a little nervous about finding a way to make some money when I leave my job. That was HIS way of showing me that He will take care of me. I never, ever lock my keys in the house. EVER!
Gotta go by a new door knob!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


I know you are probably thinking, doesn't she have a life? Three blogs in two days. Yes I do, but I have had a little more down time with the surgery.
I have been asking God to give me just one small sign that I am doing the right thing. Asking, praying, thinking, reading. Yes I am a busy, active gal. I don't think my mind ever shuts down.
First sign. A song. The words "be quiet know and wait" rings through my ears and to my heart. He is saying "Elaine, shhhh!" Sorry, Lord. I will turn it off.
Then a phone call. I can't go into the detail's but it was my second sign.
He knows I need to bring in some income so I need to listen to Him on that little situation. A few blogs back I shared a saying I saw that read " Where God Guides, He Will Provide." I guess I will be quiet now.
I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, Go throw yourself into the sea, and it will be done. If you believe you will receive what ever you ask for in prayer. Matthew 21:21-22
Now see this is the third sign, He lead me to this verse.
Pretty amazing.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Da Bayers!

Sorta empty nester/pity party/son's & girlfriends

When your use to having at least five out of six kids around and half of them are rowdy guys, then they leave home and it is just you and your three girls it is a lot like an empty nest. First they like being together. My son's would get in a fight or wrestle "just for fun" play loud music, have louder bigger boys come over and eat us out of house and home. My sweet girls just enjoy each other's company so much that hours can go by before I hear a peep out of them. They resolve their own arguments and if they do get mad it last about 2 minutes! I am not complaining it is just different.
Anyway enough of that. Here is a picture taken the night before Dustin left for boot camp. My son Dustin (middle) his best friend Garrick and Dustin's girlfriend Katlin. She is a Korean adoptee, we love her! She is so sweet. I hope they can manage a long distance relationship. Warning to you mom's out there with young son's. When they meet a girl you really like and then they break up your heart gets broken also. I told my son Cody; who except for one incidence has had great taste in girlfriends,to quit introducing me to them until he was engaged! I can't stand anymore breakups. All three boys have dated wonderful girls, you get attached to them and one day they are gone. And there you are also left with a broken heart, but does anyone call to see how you are? Nooooo....It is all about them! :)
Now for my pity party. I had a simple procedure done this week. I had my gallbladder removed. In and out. But oh no my gb was attached to my liver and now I have a drain bag stuck to my side. Hopefully I get it out today. I can't stand to be still. I have watched at least 10 hours of Law and Order all of them , SUV, Criminal Intent, can't think of the other one. I love those shows. I missed church Sunday, my favorite day of the week and I can't pick up Kennedy for 3 weeks. We will see about that! Nothing ever goes normal if I have to have surgery. When I had my hysterectomy about 8 years ago I almost died from bleeding to death. The surgeon had nicked a vessel and sowed it up. Well I kept wondering why my chest was hurting and I couldn't breath. What should have hurt down south didn't and everything up north was killing me, literally. The vessell had burst and I was bleeding to death. They had to do emergency surgery to stop the bleeding and I had to have a transfusion. Any as you are aware I made it.
Guess I will go back and listen to all the quiet in my house.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Total Momsense!

This will crack you up! I know it sounds like me!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

He is on his way!

We took Dustin to his recruiters office this morning. Actually he rode with his girlfriend and best friend. We followed.
We had a party for Dustin yesterday. Our precious family and friends showed up to send him off in fashion. I had this plan for us to get a family picture taken yesterday while the whole crew was together. We were all suppose to wear kaiki shorts or Capri's and black shirt. This is what we ended up looking like. Look who is wearing the kaiki pants and a black shirt. Figures huh? You gotta love us. This look is what I call "what the heck sheik." No rhyme or reason just get your booty up here and pose! Maybe when Dustin is home on leave we can get a real family picture taken.
In this picture Dustin insisted on wearing his prize rugby cap. I was a little miffed but you know what they say, pick your battles. After we dropped him off, Jordan, Cameron and I had a good cry (dad was being brave) we came home. I went out in the backyard because it was raining and we had left some stuff out from the party, and there it laid soaked on a table, that silly rugby cap. sigh.
I went to his room and stood for a while, knowing that in 13 weeks I will meet a man, not the boy we left on the recruiters steps but a man who followed a calling God laid on his heart. Now how can I be sad about that?

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Heavy deep sigh

That is all I have been doing for the last 24 hours. I feel depressed, moody and on the verge of tears. No its not that time of the month, haven't had those in a while, no it isn't menapause, been there done that and besides my husband would never let me run out of my "woman pill's." It's not Dustin leaving. Maybe it's the fact I have stepped out in faith and I will be leaving my job 4 weeks from today and I need to find another part time job. Part of me is yelling to myself
" ARE YOU CRAZY?! '' WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! Good grief what happened to my faith, my hope the last couple of days? Tell me Lord I have not made a huge mistake. Tell me it was you calling me to this ministry and while your at it take these blues away. Oh and if you could find a way for a few thousand dollars to come my way, then I wouldn't have to work. Now the thought of that puts a smile on my face. :)
I know I do this to myself. Deep in my heart I know I am doing what I am suppose to be doing but the human in me is FREAKING OUT!!!!
Ok Elaine lets see here...
God called you to this ministry
God is going to provide you a job, the perfect job for you.
God will meet your needs
You will be blessed
but I am still FREAKING OUT!!!
I hate feeling like this. hate it, hate it, hate it. So satan is having a field day with me right now. One thing I know for sure, this too will pass.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

No Doubts

Back in May our little friend Niki who at the time was 20 months old almost drowned. Niki had like a 5% chance of making it. She is one of God's miracles. I just found out she may go home in a couple of weeks, just in time for her 2nd birthday, a birthday many doubted she would ever see. Not those who love her!
From day one Pam ( Niki calls her Aunt Pam) has been faithful emailing friends and family with updates on Niki. Pam's family is very close to Niki's family. I know myself and many others look forward to those updates. They give us hope and remind us that Our God is a God of miracles. Pam always ends her updates with the words "with no doubts."
Niki is coming home." Wow that sounds good.
We often ask ourselves why bad things happen? The truth is we don't know why, they just do.
Niki's parents have taught me so much. Their faith has never wavered. They have looked to God for strength and hope. The fact is bad things happen. Do we blame God? Do we vow never to seek Him again? I hope not. Part of life is hanging in there when bad things happen. Looking to God for strength and courage. Leaning on Him when we can't stand it anymore. To persevere.
Niki is coming home. She has long road ahead but for those who love her we have "no doubts" she will be completely healed.
But when he asks, he must beleive and not doubt. James 1:6

Friday, August 31, 2007

Answered Prayer

Ok two post in one day, but when God gives you a miracle you have to tell everyone!
I had planned on having all my kids here Monday September 3rd for a little get together before Dustin left for boot camp. Well; news came Dustin was leaving Sunday at 12:00 noon and without going into detail my oldest son was not going to make it. To say I was bummed was an understatement but I just accepted that was the way it was. I did pray for a miracle though. Then they said Dustin was not leaving until Monday at 12. That made me happy but only a miracle would get Michael my oldest here and Jordan our daughter was going to be gone to a church retreat and she would be coming home right after Dustin left. She was bummed that she would not be able to say good bye to her brother. We needed a miracle for sure. Today Dustin came home and said " Mom I have good news, I don't have to leave until Tuesday at 12:00!" I was thrilled; at least Jordan would be here to tell her brother bye. Still no Michael. Well all in Gods timing. I get this call about an hour ago from Michael. He will also be here Monday!!! And he gave God all the credit! That is the other miracle. No one and I mean no one will ever convince me that God does not listen to our prayers. He is an awesome God and I love Him!

Be joyful always; pray continually;give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ. 1 Thesolonians 5: 16-18


I saw a sign in front of a church today that said " Where God Guides, He Will Provide." I like that. After all do you think God is going to lead you somewhere or put something on your heart and say "OK see ya later?'' I don' think so.
Even when life is unfair and we are dealt bad situations because of the poor choices of someone else, God is still there with you. He is our strength, our comfort.
I saw a friend today. She is going through some stuff that she shouldn't have to go through. But because of poor choices made by someone else , she ends up holding the bag so to speak.
She is a remarkable woman. I have always admired her. She has kept on going when many in her situation would have fallen into a pity party. Want to know the difference between her and those who sit in a pity party? God. She doesn't blame Him for anything going wrong in her life and gives Him all the glory and honor for the peace that dwells inside of her and for the strength that keeps her going. I have no doubt she will be just fine.
OK about these signs from God. A sign in front of a church, bumping into a friend at the exact time you both needed to talk, circumstances, a bible verse pops out at you, a dream, the peace deep in your spirit that only God can give you. He will get your attention one way or the other. The deal is you have to know Him and study His word. If you don't you are going to miss the signs.
The Lord will guide you always Isaiah 58:11

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Life as I know it...

Will soon be over. My youngest son is leaving Sunday for Marine boot camp. That would be Dustin in the white t-shirt. We thought he was leaving Monday. Now it is Sunday. 24 less hours to have him near me. For 30 years I have had a son around, now all of them will be on their own. No more listening to belching or other bodily functions while we watch TV. No more stinky bathroom or scary, dirty bedrooms. No more filthy sports attire piled up in front of my washing machine. No more. Ouch, I think my heart just broke.
You raise your children and there are days you think " I can't wait until they move out!" Then that day arrives and you think "please don't." My kids are everything to me. When Dustin told me he was joining the Marines I was so upset. Not my baby boy, not in this crazy world. All he ever asked me for was my blessings and I could not give that to him. I prayed and sought wise council from Dr. Cannon. One day I am driving to work and I hear this voice say "Elaine, I will take care of him, it will be ok." It was so audible. Since the radio was off and I was by myself I knew that was God talking to me. This peace came over me. That evening I was able to give Dustin my blessings. The hug and the grin on his face was worth it.
Now it is me and my daughters. Three of them. How blessed am I?
Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for everthing under heaven.
We know these times are coming, what we need to do is prepare our hearts and embrace them.
So even though my heart is breaking a little bit I will embrace the next chapter. After all it is a gift from God.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

You know, that you know, that you know

This is one of my favorite things that our pastor says. It is true. To me it means you can't explain, you just know. That is how I feel about starting this new ministry. I know, that I know that I know. Oh there has been confirmation left and right. Words from sermons, people showing genuine interest, scripture and most important the peace God has put in my heart.
I am so excited. There is no feeling like the feeling you get when you know without a doubt that you are doing what God has called you to do.
In Joshua 14:8 there is a sentence that says " I however followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly." That is what I want to do. 2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith: test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you-unless, of course you fail the test? I would hate to fail that test.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

New Beginnings

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. Philippians 4:6
August 22, 2007 around 9:07 a.m. I turned all my worries, concerns, frustrations over to God. That's right He can have them! He wants them, I sure don't.
I am leaving my job. It was a hard decision, but I feel it is time. I am stepping out in faith to pursue a calling God laid on my heart many years ago. So all the worries about finances, the ministry I am starting up, my marriage, kids, my weight, age, staying healthy, my youngest son leaving for the Marines. You name it and I turned it over. So with that being said...............tada!
I decided to get active...I mean like walk/run active. See, I have these great size 10 jeans in my closet. They are faded, have holes in the knees and I love them. I miss them. I am sure they miss me to! We sure did look good together in the day. Well I decided we can look good again. So I went for a walk,a fast walk, then attempted to run, well really it wasn't a run more of a well, not a sprint....hmmm I don't know it was either an extremely fast walk or a very slow run, call it what you want. Any who I tried to step it up and that lasted about 5 seconds. Then I thought God is right here by my side and in Proverbs 4:12 it says When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. Ok, I can do this.
About a block and a half ahead of me there was a stop sign and I thought to myself; there is your goal, you can run to the stop sign. Here I go, not so fast, I tripped over a speed bump of all things! Good grief. Ok satan funny, very funny. Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3 Off I go and I made it!!!! Glory to God! If my neighbors hadn't been outside I would have done my get jiggy dance & song! Two hands up, praise the Lord! Bring your hands together in prayer. Now satan won't come near you, oh no he won't, he wouldn't dare! That's the song to my jiggy dance. Can you tell I made it up?
So how was your day? :)

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Stepping out in faith

Oooh makes me tremble! Yes, you can be faithful and still be a little nervous. We are human. Hello! the point is to step out in faith. So here's the deal. A couple of years ago God laid on my heart to start an adoption ministry at my church to help families who are lead to adopt with some of the financial burdens. My pastor was very supportive. I found out that it could be a conflict with my work which is an adoption agency. Why you ask? Well it is the fundraising part. So I put A Hug Away on the back burner and felt when God was ready for me to do this full time he would let me know. Well it's time. I felt God saying to me "Elaine how can I do my work in you when you will not step out in faith? You have to trust me completely." That means leaving my job at the agency. October 2nd will be my last day. gulp. I did it. Now I believe God will provide everything I need. One of those things being a part time job and some money to pay off some unwanted debt I have. I have no doubts. The other deal is I am suppose to take my 2 older daughters to Korea. Hmm... we will see. If it is Gods will it will be done.
I was watching the DVD series I have been studying "Discerning the Voice of God" He started doing this work in me a long time ago, but I had to listen to Him to tell me when the time was right. The time is now.

As I was getting ready to type in my blog I grabbed my bible and it literally opened to Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I know you, before you were born I set you apart: I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
Now I don't believe I will be a prophet of any nations but He knew before He formed me exactly when all of this would take place. Pretty well says it all.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


I am taking this wonderful bible study called "Discerning The Voice OF GOD" by Priscilla Shirer. It is wonderful. She teaches you that in order to hear from God you must commune with Him. Makes sense. When you have asked God or made a request to God, waiting on the answer can be, well for lack of a better word, excruciating! Sometimes He has answered us but we are so busy still asking for an answer we miss it. God answers us in His own time and in different ways. He answers us through that still small voice that gives us peace, through circumstances, people and His written word.
God has answered many of my prayers and when I look back it amazes me on the many ways He went about it.
The most recent example. I lead an adoption group at my church. It began 21/2 years ago with a bang, but slowly the attendance began to dwindle and there was really only 3 of us that consistently showed up. I no longer felt the desire to lead and after much prayer I decided to let it go and I had a peace about it, but a small part of me felt guilty, a very small part. As if to tell me "Elaine it really is ok to let it go" God sent confirmation through a prayer that a wonderful woman who came to one of our meetings only one time. Mind you this is the only time I have ever met her and she felt compelled to email me. Through a prayer that God laid on her heart to write and send me came the final confirmation and then there was complete and total peace. It was amazing.
Now adoption is my passion and I have no doubt that God will use me to get the word out. But in order to know His will for me I have to stay in His word, stay in prayer and be aware of circumstances and people He puts before me. Did I tell you that the wonderful woman who sent me the prayer is a professional speaker on adoption? Pretty cool.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


Does a mom really ever have a vacation? I have often pondered this question. This past week we took our annual Fathers Day vacation trek down to Rockport Texas. Our first stop is at my sister and brother in laws house outside San Antonio, my home town (Go Spurs!) we spend the night and a day then all of us make the two hour trip to Rockport.
My crew will now live in our RV for a week. Yes, all the luxuries of home, laundry, dirty dishes, beds to make, meals to fix and let's not forget trying to go to the bathroom with your knees in your chest!
So where is the vacation part? I mean I have fun with my family and I love spending time with them but I am so exhausted by the time we get back I need to go to work to chill!
The first year we started this we stayed at a nice condo on the beach at Padre Island, now that was a vacation! My sister Jodie and I decided we are going back to the condo deal.
I did find time to do my bible study, that was nice. Wherever you are you should find time for God. That alone time is energizing! Don't take a vacation from God.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Wolf Mother

I am blessed and want to share my blessed and humorous life with others. I love to write/journal so this is a passion for me.
First and foremost I am a christian. I became a christian at the age of 37. When I became a christian one of my fears was that I would have to change who I was. No more spontaneous outburst of humor, no more laughing out loud, no more stating my opinion. By golly my life would be more disciplined, strict, stern. Oh and my kids would be perfect and my problems would go away. This is when I found out our awesome God does have a sense of humor, after all He gave me one!
So I am married to the best guy in the world his name is Mike and we have 6 children ages 3,8,12,18,21,30. Three sons and three daughters. Our daughters are adopted two from Korea and one from Vietnam. We also have a grandson who is 5 and a granddaughter who is 4. They are each a special gift from God and we can't imagine our life without them. Besides it makes life interesting!

Hmm... where do I start. OK how about with a funny story?! Tonight my 21 year old son Cody called me to tell me his roommates were going to be on a radio station in a battle of the bands. Now this is a station I would normally not listen to but they are nice guys and to show my support I thought I would listen and vote. I kept hitting redial oh about 90 times. I wanted to hang up but kept thinking "what if my vote was like the tie breaker?" So I hang in there and finally the DJ answers and asked for my name, I give her my name thinking why do you need my name? I just wanted to vote. She says "you are my last caller !" and I thing goody I got in just in time and then she says "you won tickets to WOLF MOTHER!" who? I try to sound excited and hang on while she gets my information. She is really nice; ask for my name, address, phone number and then my birthday...wonder what she was thinking cuz it was like okaaay?Right after I hang up my son calls and says " mom what did you think of the band?" I said "I like them and I called to vote and I was the last......."OH MY GOSH MOM!!! YOU WON THE TICKETS TO WOLF MOTHER?"! "yes,I sure did." "OH MY GOSH I HAVE WANTED TO GO TO THAT CONCERT, I LOVE THAT BAND! THANKS MOM!" " Well son, I'm sorry but I am taking your dad." Oh. silence. Gothca! OH MOM YOU ARE THE COOLEST. I LOVE YOU! "Cody, who is WOLF MOTHER?" "Remember mom;I told you they sound like Led Zepplin." Hmmm... I think to myself I loved Led Zepplin back in the day. But he loves Wolf Mother today. Have fun Cody.
Now mind you I listen to jazz, christian and a little rock. I have tried; not often but a few times to win my husband a backyard makeover, a makeover for myself, a grill, trips to Branson and $10,000. But I call a station that I never listen to and win tickets to a band I never heard of. You know what? It was all worth it. After all my son and friend are going to WOLF MOTHER!