Tuesday, April 16, 2013


One of the most important truths I have learned the past few months is that love is a choice and we must teach our mind to lead our hearts. A year ago I would have said "bull". Even as a Christian I thought you followed your heart because that is where you felt everything...right? After all when we are happy our heart jumps for joy. When we are sad it breaks. When we are angry, well my heart can go all over the map. But think about it. We see or hear, process then we "choose" how we are going to react and that is when our heart goes to work. It all begins in our mind. There are scriptures that prove this. I am learning to allow my mind to lead my heart. 
I just finished doing the LOVE DARE from the movie Fireproof. It was not always easy but I did it! I highly suggest it. I also read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. That book changed how I view my love for everyone! One of the very best books I have ever read. This is all part of the learning process.
It wasn't easy for me to grasp all of this new knowledge because my spiritual gifts are mercy and compassion. These two gifts can make your heart break more than you think you can handle and your mind go mach 10 all at once! Putting my mind in charge of my heart has helped me set pretty healthy boundaries. So when my heart wants to help all the orphans in this world my mind will say "really Elaine?

Grammy and Jameson, just because!
As I learn to love even when it doesn't feel right to or learn to forgive when it doesn't seem fair or hang in there when I don't think I can, I know I am growing the way God desires for me to grow. That makes it all worth it.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


After my last post about marriage I received a lot of private emails agreeing with what I said and I was also asked a few questions. Like what happened? What happened doesn't matter. What matters is my husband and I had choices to make. We chose to fight the good fight together...like we always have.  What doesn't destroy you makes you stronger. We are stronger!
Satan sends many things to destroy marriages. Alcohol, pornography, drugs, women, men, work, hobbies, money. The list goes on and on. All of these things are Satan's tools to seek and destroy. But as Christians we know that marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. A plan God Himself designed. A Holy union. And if God is for us then who can stand against us? The answer? No one...absolutely no one! 
Those things listed above may win the battle for a little while but love and I am not talking the first two years your married " in love" I am talking agape love that comes only through Jesus Christ, that love will always win. That is a promise. 
It's all about choices my friends. All of us will make bad choices at one time or another, that's a given. What is important is what we choose to learn from those bad choices.
You shouldn't forget the past but never focus on it. Move forward with confidence and faith. I have learned love is a choice. We choose to love through the hurts,the tears and the doubt. That is true love!

Love is not something you feel. It's something you do.
~David Wilkerson 

Thursday, April 4, 2013


Today my husband Mike and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. All anniversaries are special but this one was special in a different way. The last few months have been hard. Every marriage goes through hard times. Some of those times are harder than others. It's what you learn during those times that will decide if you are going to make it or not.
 One of the many things I have learned is that you can choose to love. That doesn't mean you don't feel love. Choosing to love your spouse or anyone for that matter means your not giving up.
This day and age people throw marriage away. The world makes it to easy. Marriage is work. Hard work. But the work is worth it. 
Sadly after a while life gets in the way. Work, family, people. Satan uses many things to distract us from what is most important to us. Thankfully Mike and I have a lot of faith in God and we listen to Him instead of paying attention to what Satan sends our way.
The odds were against Mike and I to make it. Some said it would last a year...maybe. But we made a choice and 26 years later we are still choosing to make our marriage work.
This morning when this man that I have spent over 26 years with walked into the room I thanked God that He gave me a husband who in spite of both of us chooses us!!
I have always told our kids that for your marriage to work you must love your spouse more than you hate what they said or did to you. I have a Love Dare Reminder app I read every day and the other day this was the reminder.
                                       Love Fights Fare
Love reminds you that your marriage is to valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever your fighting about.

Will your marriage always be AMAZING? Good grief no! Will you always like your spouse? No. But you should always choose to love your spouse in the good and bad times and even when you don't like them.

                                                         MIKE& ELAINE
                                       26 YEARS, 6 KIDS, 5 GRANDESTKIDS (AND 1 ON THE WAY!)
                                      GOD KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING WHEN HE BROUGHT THESE
                                      TWO HEARTS TOGETHER!