Thursday, May 1, 2014


It's been 4 month since I have blogged. Something I love to do but  I've been on a journey. I call it my "Get Real" journey. I discovered it's never to late and your never to young or old to start over, discover new things about yourself and to take your faith in God to a new level.
I was getting ready to type "it's like going from a caterpillar to a butterfly" and as I looked out my window I saw my first butterfly of Spring! Fitting don't you think? I call them "God whispers."
He's letting me know that is exactly what I have done and will hopefully continue doing for the rest of my life. Shut myself in a cocoon, renew myself and come out refreshed full of hope.

So if anyone out there has missed me or new to my blog here is a quick refresher about myself.
I'm 59 I've been married 27 years. He's younger than me so basically I guess I'm a cougar. We have six kids. Well, only 2 are considered kids now. We have three sons ages 36, 28 and soon to be 25. We have three daughters 18, 15 & 9. We have six grandest kids. One were not allowed to see anymore but in our hearts he is still our grandson. That's the amazing thing about the heart. Selfishness can take away someone or something but as long as you choose to keep them in your heart they are never really taken away. Two grandest kids are older than our youngest daughter. We have a daughter in love that rocks and a daughter through three of our grand kids. She gave us our first grandson and we have a great relationship.

What I love about my family more than anything is we love love! We are so not perfect and borderline on dysfunctionalmania ( yeah, I made that word up) but we get through everything because we choose to love, forgive and we are always there for one another. We are advocates for adoption and orphans. We have the "Hug Away Foundation."

So about this journey. In August 2012 little did I know our family was getting ready to have our world rocked and it was going to be a long painful road to recovery.  We are still in the recovery mode. What happened doesn't matter. What matters is we chose to fight for what we believe in.
That's not to say there are not battle scars and wounds and once in a while a resurgent of questions. Some of the lessons I have discovered are:

Lesson 1: in this journey... God can take ashes and make them beautiful if you allow Him to.
Lesson 2: Step back take a look at yourself in the mirror. Hate to break it to you, but your not as perfect as you think.
Lesson 3: Focus on the goal and not the circumstances. This is by far the best advice my pastor gave us!
Lesson 4: What can I do to make a difference in this situation?
Lesson 5: Life isn't a rose garden. You better be in Gods word so you can handle it when it throws you a curve ball or bowling balls or boulders.
Lesson 6: Your stronger than you think, if you lean on God. He wants you to give your problems, hurts and concerns to Him.
Lesson 7: It's never to late change and grow. If your a believer and your heart is open this will happen a lot! Who wants to stay in a rut?
Lesson 8: Life is short. You can choose to live in the past or move on.
Lesson 9: You can't change people but you can change yourself
Lesson 10: God loves us...always! No matter what we have done, thought, said or feel He still loves us. I believe that is called unconditional.
Lesson 11: It breaks my heart that there are people in this world who don't know God. How do they handle what the world throws at them?
Lesson 12: Faith, Hope and Love... It's what you need!

So while going through this journey our life group was studying Job. When we first started the lesson I was in a dark place and I kept comparing my life to Job. Heck, just change the name from Job to Elaine that was my thought. What a pathetic pity party I was in. But as we got further in this study and I was really feeling sorry for Job or myself and wondering "why would God allow this to happen to such a faithful man?" I was getting ready to understand the reason for this journey.

 Yes we knew God had allowed Satan to temp Job because He knew Job was faithful and would not desert Him. But Job didn't know that. He was confused and hurting and angry! Why God? Why me?! He had lost his family and everything he owned. He had sores all over his body. Yet even when he was angry with God and questioning Him he never quit believing. It's like getting mad at your spouse or kids. No matter how angry you get you still believe in them.

Then came the answer. The last chapter 42 "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things to wonderful for me to know."
God loved Job. God loves us. There are times God will allow our world to be rocked to the core, because He wants to remind us to lean on Him, depend on Him, trust Him. That we are so broken all we can do is look up. And that is all we need to do. He will do the rest. He may not answer all of our prayers and needs the way we want but they will be answered according to His perfect will.

Honestly this journey started out ugly. Face it caterpillar's are not the prettiest things. But once they have pushed through the cocoon that has protected them from the harshness of this world they arrive in full beauty, ready and prepared to take the journey that is before them.
God will send us on many journeys through our lives. Some we will relish and some we will hope to avoid at all cost. Don't avoid them. Go for them head on. Learn from them. Change for the good from them. Love others more. Trust God. He does know what He's doing.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Sunday, January 5, 2014


Wow! 2 months since I last posted anything. I do have several good excuses! Let's see there was Thanksgiving, three birthdays and Christmas. Put working full time, running a ministry on top of that and that gives me little time to blog, which I love to do.
It's a new year and in a few days I will be celebrating the 30th anniversary of my 29th birthday! So, when you get to this point in your life which begins going way to fast, you look back and wonder what did I do wrong, what did I do right and what could I have done different.
Thank goodness I became a Christian. Because I of God I did the one thing I needed to do and that was accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
God has blessed my life in so many ways. I have a great husband, 6 amazing kids, 5 awesome grandchildren, 5 remarkable sister and lots of wonderful nieces and nephews and far more true blue friends than any one could ever ask for. He has given me a passion for orphans and adoptions.
This does not mean that life has not had it's peaks and valleys. 2013 was the worse year I have ever experienced. Like I said on a previous blog, if it hadn't been for my daughter graduating and my youngest grandson being born there really was nothing I would want to remember from it.
But God in all His awesomeness used 2013 and it's events to bring me to brokenness, therefore giving me the opportunity to depend and trust Him totally. For what I was going through He was the only one who was going to be able to get me through it...and He did. It wasn't easy, it wasn't pretty and it sure wasn't fun. But my relationship with Him is so amazing now there truly are no words to describe it.
So if you are reading this and going through something that seems impossible to get through remember Jesus can do all things. He wants to be there for you. All you have to do is ask. If He can love me, a sinner in true form and care about me enough to want to die on the cross for me and get me through one of the darkest times in my life then I know that I know without a doubt He will be there for you. He wants to be there for you. Just ask Him.

John 16:24                   
Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

Friday, November 8, 2013


It has been awhile since I posted. Life gets busy you know. As I look back at the last year and as grateful as I am for every day God gives me I honestly can't wait for 2013 to go away. If it hadn't been for the birth of our youngest grandson and our oldest daughter graduating from High School, this year would have been a total wash out. Life is always full of peaks and valleys but this year had way to many valley's.
But I always give God the glory for getting me through tough times. He will lift you out of the valleys if you allow Him too and turn ashes into beauty.
So, back to the newest grandson. His name is Bostyn and I'm sure he doesn't realize it but he will be a Boston Red Sox fan like his daddy and uncles.
He had a rough start. He was born a little over 6 weeks early but he is doing great and is such a joy! God is good!

The binky is my friend

Cutest pumpkin ever!

Bostyn and Grammpy rooting for the Red Sox. Or maybe it was the Oregon Ducks. Who knows.

First Halloween!

Peek a Boo!

He is beautiful!

They were not buddies at first but Max was jealous, but now he
watches over Bostyn.

You have come a long way baby!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Lessons Learned

What doesn't  kill you will make you stronger. True or False? True! The last year has been for lack of a better word, AWFUL for our family. Honestly, that is a nice word to describe the year we have had. At times it seems like we have a huge target on us and if something bad was out there we got it  bulls eye and all.
 One of my favorite scriptures is Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. So when things are not going the way I planned or dreams seem to be "broken", when I don't think/believe I can do this anymore I remember this scripture. I also remember that God can take ashes and make them more beautiful than you ever imagined, IF we keep on keeping on and keeping our hope and faith alive.

We are coming up on a couple of dates that I would just soon forget but the fact is that these dates will always remind me what I don't want to remember. Make sense? I don't want to remember the sadness, the brokenness, the heart ache, the not knowing. But ironically through this journey it's the brokenness and everything that went with it that brought me closer to God. I was totally dependent on Him.
Life will always be full of peaks and valleys. The peaks are those wonderful times in life that we never want to end. The valleys are those times we usually are thinking "Why?" But if it wasn't for the journeys we take through the valley's I don't believe we could ever truly appreciate our peaks in life.

.  I thought I would share some of the things God showed me this past year.
  1. God first in all things!
  2. Pray!
  3. Love!
  4. Forgive!
  5. Never take those we love for granted
  6. Don't let the busyness of life take you away from what is important...your family.
  7. Work as a team not against one another
  8. Think about what your actions and words before you do or say anything. 
  9. Don't judge
  10. Don't believe everything you hear. There are always two sides to the story
  11. Have a safe person you can share everything with
  12. Seek wise council
  13. Remember Satan will always attack your weakest link. Be prepared! Go back to 1-4
  14. Don't give up
  15. Don't sweat the small stuff
  16. Share your fears, concerns, worries with those it concerns. Be honest!
  17. Confront kindly
  18. Listen
  19. Tell your spouse and kids you love them everyday
  20. Make those you love feel valued.
  21. Honor and respect those you love
  22. Remember to forget the things that really don't matter
  23. Talk about it. Don't ignore that BIG elephant in the room
  24. Fight the good fight
  25. Appreciate the lessons you learned.
I hope this helps anyone who may be going through a valley right now. If you need prayer let me know!

Thursday, September 12, 2013


Today someone I love very much was beat up at school. Their OK. It was caught on camera. ---will survive the punches but the emotional scars are going to be hard to forget. There was no reason for this. Why? Because --- is fun, smart, kind? Because --- would help anyone, anytime anywhere? Not very good reasons to hurt someone.

Everyone one knows bullies are weak, that is why they choose someone like this person that I love more than life itself to attack. Bullies are sometimes molded by what they see at home. Maybe they are be bullied by someone in their family. There are no excuse to hurt someone. I would love to meet them and say all of this to their faces. But since I can't I have a written a letter to these bullies.

" I have a lot of questions for you. Why this person? What did --- do to you? Did it make you feel good to hit ---? Did you feel tough when you choked ---? Did you feel cool, think you were impressing someone?

For whatever you think ---'s weakness is, it makes you look weaker.  ---'s kindness makes you look like the jerks you are.  ---'s goodness makes you look like the pitiful. And ---'s intelligence's makes you look like the sad fools you are.

See --- will go on to do great things, while if you keep this up this will be your life except you'll either be behind bars or dead because no matter where you go there will always be someone bigger, meaner and stronger than you. Remember that. Your a bully. You only pick on those who pose no threat to you. I've been around a long time and I've never heard of bullies picking on those who are bigger and stronger than them.

Some day, if you have conscience, you will think back to this day and all the kids you hurt for no reason. You will feel shame, regret and remorse. And what if you have kids and someone does this to them? You will feel like me and our family feels right now. Angry beyond words. Wishing you could go and embarrass and humiliate those who did this to your child.

But this never solves anything. My prayer is that you will choose to break this chain. Choose to make a positive difference. Tell --- your sorry. See sadly you've won this battle because --- isn't going back to school. That breaks my heart. ---- is kind, extremely smart and would have made a good friend if given a chance. To bad for you. He would have helped you with your homework and from where I stand, you need all the help you can get.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Tim Be Told - Lament (Studio Version)

My daughter loves this song and asked me to listen to it. It is now one of my favorite! It speaks a powerful truth that to many of us want to ignore.

Monday, August 19, 2013


See that little post on the right that says "gofundme"? We are raising money to build a kitchen at our school in Ethiopia. I am asking anyone and everyone who feels lead to make a donation and help us spread the word.
We have a little over 200 children at the school and Adanech the founder and another lady cook the food at Adanech's house and walk in back. It's equivalent to 6 city blocks but it is very rocky.
Our hope is to add a small kitchen with a stove and sink and possibly a little cafeteria. It will make life much easier on these women and the quality of food would be better.
Please help us help them.