Monday, June 29, 2009

Looking in the mirror

Do you ever look in the mirror and not like what you see? I am not talking about wrinkles, hair, nose and eyes I am talking about who you are deep inside.
We spend time and money having the oil in our car checked and changed to make sure it has no gunk in it so it will run at it's very best. We should at least do the same thing for ourselves. And like the oil in our car it isn't always easy or fun to change the gunk ourselves, but we need to so we can be the best God intended for us to be. That starts by being completely and totally honest with yourself.
It is very easy for me to point out flaws in others, but for me to look in the mirror and look deep into my soul, well let me just say the plank in my eye is a big one!
As my walk with Christ grows stronger and I not only study the bible but apply it to my life, I am quickly finding out I am not all that and a bag of chips! I have some serious work to do, well me and God. As usual He was waiting patiently for me to "get" it.
I can be selfish, opinionated, moody, obsessed with material things, gossip,impatient, get the picture. I have almost knocked out the 10 commandments with this list!
The good news is my Father in heaven loves me despite these shortcomings. He knows I am working on this list because when my time comes and I go home I want Him to say "Well done my good and faithful servant." I do have good qualities but sometimes the bad ones out shine the good ones and that is not going to fly in my book.
I look back to where I was and yes, I have come a very long way. What use to be on my list and has been taken off is:
1.Worrying. All the time about anyone, anything and everything. I gave that one to God. Worrying is not going to change anything and when I worry I am not trusting God.
2.Fear. Fear of trying new things, being bold, of speaking out, it's true, I use to be a scardy cat big time! Fear is Satan messing with you!
3.Trust. Big one! I didn't trust anyone as far as I could throw them. Now, I at least give them a chance.
4.Boundaries. Wow!!!! A huge hurdle. I use to let every ones life run mine. If I had plans and someone needed me for anything I would blow of my plans and run to the rescue. Now, not so much. It is ok to say no. I refuse to be an enabler. I discovered when you say yes to everyone and everything then you are not giving your very best, but when you say yes to a few things you are giving excellence!
5.Forgivness: I have forgiven everyone in my life who has ever hurt me. That is a very good feeling.
See, I have made quite a dent in my list! One of my favorite verses in the bible is: Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Will I be everything God intended me to be? I have no idea. What I do know is when my time comes I will leave this life and go onto the next one knowing I gave it my very best.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Letting things go be so wise. Well, I am not sure wise is the right word, let's just say that I am more prone to "aha moments." I have come to the conclusion that I have way to much on my plate.
I love everything I do, but I now have way to much to do and I need to let some things go. That is the hard part. How do you decide?
Someone once told me that if you want to succeed and be happy at what you do then pick something you are passionate about. I am passionate about orphans and adoption. If I had my wish, I would quit my job and focus on Hug Away and make it what I know it could be. But unless the money fairy drops $15,000 in my bank account that is not going to happen anytime soon. I have so many dreams for the foundation. I want to do everything in my power to help those children who will never be adopted and to help families who choose to adopt. I want to get the word out and educate anyone and everyone about adoption and orphans.
But the reality is it would take a miracle for this to happen. I need to pray and see where God leads me. He hasn't failed me yet.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. " Jeremiah 29:11

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Titus 3 Project

This past weekend the Hug Away Foundation had the Titus 3 Project fundraiser. It was a garage sale and we had been collecting stuff for weeks and storing the stuff in storage.
We had a great location on the corner of a very busy intersection. Friday night at 6:30 pm we met several wonderful friends, about 5 trucks, 3 big trailers and began moving everything to the location to set up and price things. We had pizza and the kids played while we worked. The plan was for my husband to stay at the location all night (he is use to working nights) and me and some friends show up bright and early Saturday morning so he could go home, get some sleep while we worked the sale. God has a better plan!
As soon as we began to unload people were walking up wanting to buy. At first we said we would open in the morning but more and more kept coming! Finally we caved and started to sell. They kept coming and people kept saying "what a wonderful idea, having a garage sale at night and avoid the heat!" Yeah, that was the plan. ;)
By 1:oo am in the morning we had already made over $1,100! We still had a ton of stuff left. When I went to relieve Mike 5 hours later people were already there buying. By 5 that afternoon had raised over $2,600!
I feel so blessed. Yes, the money is wonderful and it will help other families and orphans but I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who, for several weeks would go to peoples houses to pick up donations in between his two jobs and worked tirelessly at the sale. I am blessed to have sweet, patient daughters who took up the slack at home while we worked and prepared for the sale and they also helped at the sale. I am blessed to have wonderful friends who support our cause. They donated items,money and time. Everyone worked hard in the heat, loading,unloading, setting up, pricing, selling, keeping Mike company that night, showing up the next day to help out and again load and unload. And most important I am blessed to have God. These are the true blessings.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Happy Gotcha Day Jordan!

Jordan playing with babies in the Babies Home where she stayed after she was born and before she went to her foster home.

Jordans social worker and foster mother

Jordan with the Director of the Babies Home

My Jordan

It was the day before Fathers Day June 17,1995. Myself, along with about 100 family and friends were standing in the airport waiting for a very special delivery. My husband Mike and his mom Dorothy were arriving from Los Angeles, where they flown out to meet our 3 month daughter who had been brought to the states from S.Korea by missionaries. Myung (bright) Hwa (beautiful) who we would call Jordan.
I was being interviewed by a local news channel for a adoption/ Fathers Day story and I was feeling so many emotions. Finally, after what seems forever the plane landed and all the passenger got off the plane. Some of them including business men were holding things that looked very familiar to me, like a blanket, a toy, little things like that. They stopped and waited along with the rest of us. Finally,here comes my husband holding this tiny bundle, and a stewardess holding a diaper bag or something and my mother in law carrying some stuff. Everyone was clapping and cheering, even the passengers that had been on the flight got in on it.
When my husband placed our daughter in my arms I was so overwhelmed I thought I might faint and she was sleeping like nothing was going on.
This baby girl is now a bright and beautiful young woman. She is smart, kind, good, has a quick wit and is funny, She loves God, her family & friends, the country where she was born and the country where she lives. She is very confident in who she is and doesn't try to be or act like anyone else. She is who she is and that is fine with all of us who know and love her.
If you would have told me on that day 14 years ago that we would be blessed with two more daughters through the miracle of adoption I would not have believed you. But we serve an awesome God and His plans for us are always better than anything we could ever imagine for ourselves.
Jordan it is a joy and honor to be your momma! I love you sweet girl!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

In the year 2525

When I was around 11 years old there was a song called "In the year 2525" That song scared me to death! I remember thinking "no way will that ever happen."
Well it hasn't quite reached that extreme but here we are in the year 2009 and people can't seem to put down their cell phones for 2 seconds. We have it connected to us 24/7.
I would be a big fat liar if I didn't admit I love technology. I blog, I facebook, I text. Technology has helped me see my son who is half way across the world, write down my feelings to inspire or help others and reconnect with old friends. No twitter, thank you very much, BUT when technology interferes with manners and good old common courtesy, well that takes it to a whole other level.
I have had people come into the office where I work and want to have their eyes examined, have someone standing behind them and have the nerve to say "hang on a minute" while they text or talk on their cell phone! I have been talking to friends and they receive a text and will not even say "hold on a minute" they start texting! People have such a attitude of "entitlement" anymore.
The art of conversation and letter writing is going away. People have phones stuck to their ears and look like they are talking to themselves! I see people driving and texting which I think should be illegal. Phones go off in church, waiting areas, conferences, meeting, while you are talking to someone, at school anywhere and everywhere. Our society is losing their manners right along with their social skills.
Personally I have no desire to be that connected to anyone 24/7. I want to hear your voice, look at your face, see your expressions, I want to enjoy your company.
My husband is one of those guys who does not need all this technology. He doesn't text and I set up a facebook page for him about 2 weeks ago and he has been on it maybe 3 times. He knows that relationships are built on good old face to face conversations. He knows that there is a lot more to life than texting and facebooking. We both like to turn off the phones yes even at home and just enjoy our little piece of the world. My point is turn it off for a while and enjoy life!
I have posted the lyrics to that scary song. I think it was written in 1969. It is amazing how much is true.

In the year 2525
If man is still alive
If woman can survive they may find

In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do and say
Is in the pill you took today

In the year 4545
Ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes
You won't find a thing to chew
Nobody's gonna look at you

In the year 5555
Your arms hanging limp at your sides
Your legs got nothing to do
Some machine's doing that for you

In the year 6565
Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long glass tube, whoa-oh

In the year 7510
If God's a-comin' He oughta make it by then
Maybe He'll look around Himself and say
Guess it's time for the judgment day

In the year 8510
God is gonna shake His mighty head
He'll either say I'm pleased where man has been
Or tear it down and start again, whoa-oh

In the year 9595
I'm kinda wonderin' if man is gonna be alive
He's taken everything this old Earth can give
And he ain't put back nothin', whoa-oh

Now it's been ten thousand years
Man has cried a billion tears
For what he never knew
Now man's reign is through

But through eternal night
The twinkling of starlight
So very far away
Maybe it's only yesterday

Monday, June 8, 2009

Happy Birthday Kennedy!

I can not believe my baby girl is 5 years old today :( Of course she still wears a 3T
so I can still pick her up and rock her! We celebrated the big "I can use all my fingers on one hand" day with a swim party. Everyone had a good time. Big brother Cody made it, Dustin skyped in but we were missing our oldest Michael. We had other family and friends over and that is always fun. Kennedy had 2 request for her party, big sister Jordan make her cake and she told her what kind and what she wanted on it and a bicycle.
We are so blessed. As I was watching this little girl who blessed us with her presence 2 1/2 years ago I couldn't help but think of a woman on the other side of the world. Because she chose to give her daughter a better life than she could provide we were the ones chosen by God to fullfill her wishes. I hope that somehow she would have a peace in her heart and know that "our" little girl is loved so much and she is smart and funny and a joy to be around.

Chicken fight! David & Hannah with Kennedy & Kooper

Cody & the crew chillin

Newest member of our family Maddox with mommy Krista

Cody thinking if he got me wet I wouldn't take his picture! Gotcha!

Cody & Kennedy

Kein, Kennedy & Jaylon (grandson)

Kein, Kennedy & Amiya (grandaughter)

Thank you for all the presents!

Kein & Kennedy lived together in the same orphanage & were buds!

Natalie, Jordan & Maddox talking to Dustin on skype

Monday, June 1, 2009

A good place to be

Pictures I love

Jordan wishing mom would put the camera down!

Dustin getting ready to do his last run at boot camp (he is in the middle.

On our way to Korea!

Cody and Kennedy having a good time

Dad & Cody

Kennedy getting hugs from bubba Michael

Cameron's baptism

Cameron happy to see Dustin at graduation

Cameron & Daddy

Our grandbabies

The men of our family

Our baby girls

We are blessed!

I am so glad May is over. It was not a very good month at all, except for Dustin's birthday , but he is serving our country in another country so...But on to a brand new month.
I believe that everyone comes to a point in their life when things just come together. Life, relationships,the mistakes you have made, where you have come from and where you are going all begins to make sense. I am 54 years old and I am there.
It is a good place to be.
It may sound silly but I had my light bulb moment yesterday when my husband said something that really hurt my feelings and also made me mad. Normally I would argue with him and let him know what I thought and why I thought it and on and on. But I didn't say a word. I am not usually one to give the silent treatment and that is not why I chose to be quiet. I knew that if I opened my mouth I would start spewing and it just wasn't worth it. I still think what he said was wrong but that is for him to figure out.
I have also realized I can't fix the problems of everyone I care for, I need to have some time for myself, that even though I would adopt every child that needed a family I can't, that time is precious, that when we lose someone we care for life does go on and most important my walk with God only gets better with every breath I take.
He has loved me through some very bad times even before I asked Him into my heart. He gave me this life and the choice to be everything He put me on this earth to be.
Now I do need to work on patience. And that will happen, but one day at a time my friend, one day at a time.