Wednesday, February 24, 2010

They will know

I can't believe it has been so long since I have blogged! I know most of you can relate that sometimes life just gets busy! Two weeks go by and you realize you haven't done some of the things you enjoy, like blogging!
I don't blog just to blog. I write what is in my heart. I have journaled for years and there is something so therapeutic about seeing your thoughts on paper or in this case on a blog.
I know that someday when I am gone my children will know who there momma was. Not just a person who took care of boo boos, cleaned house, did their laundry, sat up with them for late night chats or drove them wherever they needed to go. They will will "KNOW" their momma.
They will read my stories and they will know my thoughts, feelings and how I dealt with them...good or bad. They will know my heart and how much I love their dad.They will know that God brought our two hearts together and made it one. We had the odds against us but because of our love for one another and belief in God, marriage and family we made it. They will know that I could be having the worse day ever and all I had to do was close my eyes and see each of their faces and my day would get better. And my love for each of them gave me so much joy I can't even describe it!
They will know how very much I loved Jesus and that from the moment I accepted Him in my heart my desire was to please Him. And that even when I failed miserably in my walk with Him, I knew He was there to keep me going.
And that is why I journal. Words are said and sometimes forgotten, but when put to paper we can pull them out and read them when ever we want to remember.

Monday, February 8, 2010


I would have to say out of all the years I have been on this earth 2009 was the one that took me through more personal trials, personal joys, and more important my relationship and walk with God is closer than I could have ever imagined.
Because of certain things that when on in my life last year I had to let go and trust God. Not a little, not sorta I mean I had to totally, completely trust Him. I had no other choice. I have to admit I was a little upset at first. I was scared and thought "why is this happening to me?" And I never thought I would say this but I am so GRATEFUL God allowed me to go through that time. If He had "saved" me if you will then I would not be in this amazing place I am now!

Happy to be 55!

I have learned to be grateful in all circumstances. Example, This birthday I turned 55. Ok so now everyone knows! For whatever reason that double nickle age really got to me this year. Maybe it is all the AARP mail I am getting! Anyway I realized I am I am healthy, I have a wonderful husband, awesome kids and grandkids, amazing friends, can still bend and touch my toes! I am alive and 55! For that I am very grateful. My kitchen is still not done, 2 years later, but I have a kitchen. It has food, appliances and holds lots of love in the evenings when my family gathers around while we fix dinner. My van, well the poor baby she really is on her last leg. But everyday she seems to get me where I am going! She keeps us warm wherever we are going and the CD player still works!
Every payday when I get my very small check I look at it and wonder how can I make it with this little bit of money? But amazingly when the next little check comes around on payday I realize that I made it! When I lay in bed at night and Satan wants to remind me of everything that is going wrong around me I am GRATEFUL that my God swoops in and chases him away and reminds me of all the wonderful blessings that surround me.
How often do we go to God with our problem's and then get upset when He doesn't fix them right then and there. And then when things are going great in our life how many of us truly take the time to thank Him or do we just think "Yeah! everything is going my way" and forget to thank Him the one who made it all possible?
It took me a long time to truly understand what being grateful meant. What I have learned is that being grateful means that no matter what is going on in your life that you understand that God loves you and wants the best for you and sometimes that means going through valleys to reach the mountain. He gave you a free will so you could choose Him or not. But when you choose Him, study Him, His words, His ways He will help you reach that mountain. Being grateful means trusting Him totally, no matter what. Is it easy? Not really, but I will say from experience that it does give you a peace that is above all understanding.