Sunday, September 30, 2007

Faith is hard! But it is worth it!

Man who ever said being faithful was easy apparently never stepped out themselves. I have never been so excited, blessed, scared, nervous, doubtful (about me) in my whole life. For those who have just began to read this blog, I left a very good job without having another lined up (I still believe God has one planned for me) to begin a ministry at my church that I started a couple of years ago called "The Hug Away Foundation" I felt God was telling me it was time to get this going. Staying at my job was a conflict of interest so I had to make a choice. It wasn't hard (except the making no money part.) But I would be lying if I didn't confess I am a little apprehensive about finding the right job that will also allow me to devote the time I need to the ministry. With that being said....
We are off to a good start. We are starting a change drive through the months of October and November (no I had no clue Steven Curtis Chapman was doing the same thing!) We are asking other churches, businesses, individuals to help out if they feel the "tug." Oh yea the ministry is to offer grants to families who have been called to adopt. My husband and I have been there, done that and are very aware of what a blessing these grants are. We also had a great article in our local newspaper.
There is so much to do! Right now I am the pr person, fundraiser coordinator, I have to find someone to do the logo for nothing person, and anything else you can think of and enjoying every minute of it!
If you could lift this ministry up in prayer that would be so awesome!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

This girl we call Kennedy

She never ceases to amaze me. She is beautiful,
smart, kind and funny. I can't believe she has been home 8 months. This picture was taken the week she came home. Dad isn't in love is he?
She is still tiny but she has grown 2 inches. She can count and say her ABC's. She says the most beautiful prayers and like Cameron did when she was little it is more like a long conversation, a very long conversation with God. She talks about her day, from me buckling her up in her car seat to playing with Kooper (her future husband) and she always ask God to take care of each of us by name. All 8 of us! She has changed so much in some ways but in others ways she is still that little girl that walked up to me in Ninh Thuan and kissed my cheek the first time I saw her.
I look at those beautiful dark eyes and say Thank you God for choosing us to be her family.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Watch the Attitude!

Leave it to a comment from a sweet innocent little girl (who meant no harm) to make you sit down and do a quick self evaluation. The last few days I have been a, well not a nice word. Heck if I could I would get away from me!
This morning Mike was out running and I was fixing breakfast for the girls. Mike walks in and he has on his softball shirt. On the front of his shirt is this big bright flaming softball with a scary face and grrrr teeth. Kennedy points to the softball and said "that's mommy!" ouch. Now mind you last week I was Tinkerbell and then Cinderella. Today I am a scary softball!
I admit sometimes I choose to be mad and in a nasty mood. I let satan get in my thoughts and he fills me with doubts and insecurities.
I don't want my kids to look at me and see a scary softball, I mean I am no flying fairy or Cinderella either. I am just a mom trying to walk the walk instead of always talking the talk.
I am trying to be obedient and do God's will in my life. I want to make a difference. I want to stand before God one day and hear Him say "job well done my good and faithful servant."
So if you are reading this I have a request. Pray for me. Pray I stay strong and I keep the attitude of a servants heart. Tell satan to go back to HELL! That there is no room for him around here. I really need to be covered in prayer. If you know me at all I very rarely ask for prayer for myself, but I am now. I will not list all the huge changes going on in my life at once and what needs there are. God knows. Just say a prayer for me. I don't want to look like a scary, flaming, grrr softball anymore or feel like I have been hit with a bat! I want to glorify God.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Baby Boy

I miss my baby boy tonight, this morning, whatever (it is 3:45am) I miss him a lot. He has been gone two weeks and it seems like two years. I am having a bad night. Yes, even the faithful go through valley's and mine is pretty deep right now.
He wrote us some letters. He has bronchitis. He was down because they have him on light duty. He is a little homesick but he loves what he's doing.
Anyway I miss my baby boy. My 207 pound, 6 foot baby boy.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

God is God

"and I am not. I can only see a glimpse of the picture He is painting."These are some words to one of my favorite songs by Steven Curtis Chapman. Pretty much brings me back to reality. Ex specially when I am trying to take control from Him. So the last eight hours have been for lack of a better word ''AWESOME!"
Last night at yet again 2:00 am I woke up and could not go back to sleep. I turned on the TV and there was the 700 Club. I like this show. Yes I am a Baptist but I look for the truth. Te be honest I have no clue what denomination the 700 club is but they do speak a lot of truth. Last night taught about faith. Faith is a gift. There are lots of Christian's out there without faith. When you believe and you have faith you can move mountains. It was a very good lesson and yet again through scripture God affirmed I am doing what I am suppose to do. The show goes off and I still can not sleep. I open up a journal I have and when I opened it up there was a little card with Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Confirmation. I open up the drawer to my nightstand and there were a stack of little cards with bible verse on them. I pick them up and the first one I see is exactly the same as the one in my journal. coincidence? I think not. I came in to work this morning and the first phone call I receive was from a wonderful adoptive mom wishing me the best on my new journey. She was so supportive. Again confirmation.
When we are stepping out in faith we need these signs to help us along. To confirm this is what we are to do. I hope my faith is always as strong as it is at this moment.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Doors/keys and hatchets

I feel good again. "You can't keep a good woman down" or as my husband says "you can't keep a good, bull headed, hyper woman down!"
I went to see my youngest sister today. She has had a very tough life. Some of it because of poor choices and the rest because of abusive people.
Let me tell you how this started. I have been trying to reach out to her more so she would feel like someone cared and she had a connection. In the process witnessing to her. She did come over to watch the girls when I had my surgery last week. This is a huge step. Kennedy adored her and she adored Kennedy. Great thing about kids, they love us for who we are. No conditions. Anyway Kennedy and I walk out the front door and I realized my keys were in the house. To make a long 45 minute saga short my husband could sleep through a bomb! Grrrr...... so after 45 minutes of pounding the door, ringing the doorbell and calling I went to the side garage door. AHA! Next to the door was a hatchet. You guessed it. Stand back Kennedy! I chopped the door handle off! I put a lot of thought on how I could get in through that door with minimal damage. Chopping of the knob seemed logical. I get to the door that leads to the kitchen. LOCKED! I hit, I jimmied. Nothing. I was next to tears and besides being mad at Mike for sleeping so hard I was a little concerned about him. I thought he was in a coma or something. I took a deep breath and prayed. I said "God please help me get this door open. You work my hands." I tried the screwdriver very calmly, jiggle here, jiggle there and the door opened! I was like " thank you God!" wow. No one and I mean no one ever tell me that God doesn't listen to our prayers big or small.
So on the way to my sisters I was reliving this moment. I was so grateful. I was thinking to myself "There is no problem to big or small for God." HELLO! Yet another way God got my attention. He knows I am a little nervous about finding a way to make some money when I leave my job. That was HIS way of showing me that He will take care of me. I never, ever lock my keys in the house. EVER!
Gotta go by a new door knob!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


I know you are probably thinking, doesn't she have a life? Three blogs in two days. Yes I do, but I have had a little more down time with the surgery.
I have been asking God to give me just one small sign that I am doing the right thing. Asking, praying, thinking, reading. Yes I am a busy, active gal. I don't think my mind ever shuts down.
First sign. A song. The words "be quiet know and wait" rings through my ears and to my heart. He is saying "Elaine, shhhh!" Sorry, Lord. I will turn it off.
Then a phone call. I can't go into the detail's but it was my second sign.
He knows I need to bring in some income so I need to listen to Him on that little situation. A few blogs back I shared a saying I saw that read " Where God Guides, He Will Provide." I guess I will be quiet now.
I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, Go throw yourself into the sea, and it will be done. If you believe you will receive what ever you ask for in prayer. Matthew 21:21-22
Now see this is the third sign, He lead me to this verse.
Pretty amazing.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Da Bayers!

Sorta empty nester/pity party/son's & girlfriends

When your use to having at least five out of six kids around and half of them are rowdy guys, then they leave home and it is just you and your three girls it is a lot like an empty nest. First they like being together. My son's would get in a fight or wrestle "just for fun" play loud music, have louder bigger boys come over and eat us out of house and home. My sweet girls just enjoy each other's company so much that hours can go by before I hear a peep out of them. They resolve their own arguments and if they do get mad it last about 2 minutes! I am not complaining it is just different.
Anyway enough of that. Here is a picture taken the night before Dustin left for boot camp. My son Dustin (middle) his best friend Garrick and Dustin's girlfriend Katlin. She is a Korean adoptee, we love her! She is so sweet. I hope they can manage a long distance relationship. Warning to you mom's out there with young son's. When they meet a girl you really like and then they break up your heart gets broken also. I told my son Cody; who except for one incidence has had great taste in girlfriends,to quit introducing me to them until he was engaged! I can't stand anymore breakups. All three boys have dated wonderful girls, you get attached to them and one day they are gone. And there you are also left with a broken heart, but does anyone call to see how you are? Nooooo....It is all about them! :)
Now for my pity party. I had a simple procedure done this week. I had my gallbladder removed. In and out. But oh no my gb was attached to my liver and now I have a drain bag stuck to my side. Hopefully I get it out today. I can't stand to be still. I have watched at least 10 hours of Law and Order all of them , SUV, Criminal Intent, can't think of the other one. I love those shows. I missed church Sunday, my favorite day of the week and I can't pick up Kennedy for 3 weeks. We will see about that! Nothing ever goes normal if I have to have surgery. When I had my hysterectomy about 8 years ago I almost died from bleeding to death. The surgeon had nicked a vessel and sowed it up. Well I kept wondering why my chest was hurting and I couldn't breath. What should have hurt down south didn't and everything up north was killing me, literally. The vessell had burst and I was bleeding to death. They had to do emergency surgery to stop the bleeding and I had to have a transfusion. Any as you are aware I made it.
Guess I will go back and listen to all the quiet in my house.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Total Momsense!

This will crack you up! I know it sounds like me!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

He is on his way!

We took Dustin to his recruiters office this morning. Actually he rode with his girlfriend and best friend. We followed.
We had a party for Dustin yesterday. Our precious family and friends showed up to send him off in fashion. I had this plan for us to get a family picture taken yesterday while the whole crew was together. We were all suppose to wear kaiki shorts or Capri's and black shirt. This is what we ended up looking like. Look who is wearing the kaiki pants and a black shirt. Figures huh? You gotta love us. This look is what I call "what the heck sheik." No rhyme or reason just get your booty up here and pose! Maybe when Dustin is home on leave we can get a real family picture taken.
In this picture Dustin insisted on wearing his prize rugby cap. I was a little miffed but you know what they say, pick your battles. After we dropped him off, Jordan, Cameron and I had a good cry (dad was being brave) we came home. I went out in the backyard because it was raining and we had left some stuff out from the party, and there it laid soaked on a table, that silly rugby cap. sigh.
I went to his room and stood for a while, knowing that in 13 weeks I will meet a man, not the boy we left on the recruiters steps but a man who followed a calling God laid on his heart. Now how can I be sad about that?

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Heavy deep sigh

That is all I have been doing for the last 24 hours. I feel depressed, moody and on the verge of tears. No its not that time of the month, haven't had those in a while, no it isn't menapause, been there done that and besides my husband would never let me run out of my "woman pill's." It's not Dustin leaving. Maybe it's the fact I have stepped out in faith and I will be leaving my job 4 weeks from today and I need to find another part time job. Part of me is yelling to myself
" ARE YOU CRAZY?! '' WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! Good grief what happened to my faith, my hope the last couple of days? Tell me Lord I have not made a huge mistake. Tell me it was you calling me to this ministry and while your at it take these blues away. Oh and if you could find a way for a few thousand dollars to come my way, then I wouldn't have to work. Now the thought of that puts a smile on my face. :)
I know I do this to myself. Deep in my heart I know I am doing what I am suppose to be doing but the human in me is FREAKING OUT!!!!
Ok Elaine lets see here...
God called you to this ministry
God is going to provide you a job, the perfect job for you.
God will meet your needs
You will be blessed
but I am still FREAKING OUT!!!
I hate feeling like this. hate it, hate it, hate it. So satan is having a field day with me right now. One thing I know for sure, this too will pass.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

No Doubts

Back in May our little friend Niki who at the time was 20 months old almost drowned. Niki had like a 5% chance of making it. She is one of God's miracles. I just found out she may go home in a couple of weeks, just in time for her 2nd birthday, a birthday many doubted she would ever see. Not those who love her!
From day one Pam ( Niki calls her Aunt Pam) has been faithful emailing friends and family with updates on Niki. Pam's family is very close to Niki's family. I know myself and many others look forward to those updates. They give us hope and remind us that Our God is a God of miracles. Pam always ends her updates with the words "with no doubts."
Niki is coming home." Wow that sounds good.
We often ask ourselves why bad things happen? The truth is we don't know why, they just do.
Niki's parents have taught me so much. Their faith has never wavered. They have looked to God for strength and hope. The fact is bad things happen. Do we blame God? Do we vow never to seek Him again? I hope not. Part of life is hanging in there when bad things happen. Looking to God for strength and courage. Leaning on Him when we can't stand it anymore. To persevere.
Niki is coming home. She has long road ahead but for those who love her we have "no doubts" she will be completely healed.
But when he asks, he must beleive and not doubt. James 1:6