Saturday, October 20, 2007

The truth is...

For a long time, longer than I can remember I have sometimes wished I had a different personality. You know...quiet, behind the scenes, not quite as talkative, serving God without anyone noticing. You know who I am talking about. I so admire women like this. I wish I could be more like them, until...
This morning I woke up early.The house was quiet and I sat down and had a visit with my Father in heaven. We went through a lot of stuff. The most important word He gave me was that my personality was fine, I need it to do what He lays on my heart but what I need to change is my attitude. What? That was not what I was expecting to hear.
He revealed to me that He made my personality the way it was so I could survive growing up. It was the tool He gave me to make it. Now someone may read this and think "Hey I had a bad childhood or my life stinks, why didn't He give me a personality to survive?" He did. He also gave us a free will. We could let the circumstances rule us or dig deep into our spirit and pull out the gifts He gave us. We make choices.
I felt defeated many times but I would always let my personality take charge and for that I am very grateful. I did not become a Christian until I was 37 years old but I always felt there was something or someone bigger than this life watching over me and whatever or whoever this something was, it was greater and more powerful than I would ever imagine. At the age of 37 I realized it was Jesus Christ. He was always with me, walking beside me, knowing someday I would desire to know Him and have a personal and intimate relationship with Him.
I know someone is also thinking "easy for you!" No it wasn't, not at all. I made a choice to not let the circumstances get the best of me and knew deep in my soul that life COULD be better than this. My life is better, much better and blessed than I could have ever imagined. Now I thank God for the personality He gave me. The attitude needs a little bit of work.
I need to own up. Any problems I have at this time in my life I created. No one else, just me. Gods promise to me is this, if I trust in Him and believe in Him, depend on Him, all my needs, not my wants, my needs will be met.
Sounds good to me, very good.

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