Peace

Peace above all understanding. That is where I am in my walk with God. Some folks will get this and others will not. Total and complete trust in God gives you peace that you can not explain or understand. It is what it is.It is a very good thing.
I have been a christian for 17 years and it has taken me this long to get to this point. Even through my walk with Him I was anxious, fearful, worried, angry, selfish.
Nice witness huh?
What I know now is, if you trust God with your life and I mean truly trust Him, then those things I mentioned above will go away. Don't get me wrong, you have feelings and emotions and these are some of them, but now you have the faith and trust in God to know that these emotions will defer your walk so you give them back to God. It is a choice you know. You can choose to live with the fear, worry, anxiousness and let it consume you or you can trust God and be free. I have chosen to be free and it is a wonderful feeling.
For those of you who are thinking "easy for her to say" I will say "not true."
Out of respect for my siblings I will not go there, but believe me if hell can be on earth, we lived there. Enough said.
I remember as a little girl making the decision that my life would be different when I grew up. I believe God first spoke to my heart when I was 10 years old as I was standing on a porch in the dark in so much fear, shaking and my heart beating so hard it sounded like a loud drum. But something(I did not know Jesus then) made me feel like I was going to be ok and the fear went away. As long as I live I will never forget that moment. Ever. It was 27 years later when I became a christian I remembered that moment again and I realized then that it was God who had spoke to my heart. After I became a christian I became blessed to know when He is speaking to me.
So if God calls us to adopt again, travel around the world to help the orphans who have no voice, or do whatever it is He would call us to do, we will go knowing that it will be with a peace above all understanding.

Blessed is the man who persevers under trail, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.
James 2:12