Peace

Peace above all understanding. That is where I am in my walk with God. Some folks will get this and others will not. Total and complete trust in God gives you peace that you can not explain or understand. It is what it is.It is a very good thing.
I have been a christian for 17 years and it has taken me this long to get to this point. Even through my walk with Him I was anxious, fearful, worried, angry, selfish.
Nice witness huh?
What I know now is, if you trust God with your life and I mean truly trust Him, then those things I mentioned above will go away. Don't get me wrong, you have feelings and emotions and these are some of them, but now you have the faith and trust in God to know that these emotions will defer your walk so you give them back to God. It is a choice you know. You can choose to live with the fear, worry, anxiousness and let it consume you or you can trust God and be free. I have chosen to be free and it is a wonderful feeling.
For those of you who are thinking "easy for her to say" I will say "not true."
Out of respect for my siblings I will not go there, but believe me if hell can be on earth, we lived there. Enough said.
I remember as a little girl making the decision that my life would be different when I grew up. I believe God first spoke to my heart when I was 10 years old as I was standing on a porch in the dark in so much fear, shaking and my heart beating so hard it sounded like a loud drum. But something(I did not know Jesus then) made me feel like I was going to be ok and the fear went away. As long as I live I will never forget that moment. Ever. It was 27 years later when I became a christian I remembered that moment again and I realized then that it was God who had spoke to my heart. After I became a christian I became blessed to know when He is speaking to me.
So if God calls us to adopt again, travel around the world to help the orphans who have no voice, or do whatever it is He would call us to do, we will go knowing that it will be with a peace above all understanding.

Blessed is the man who persevers under trail, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.
James 2:12

Be still and know

See in this picture I am being so quiet and still as I watch Kennedy take a very loooooooooooooooooong time painting a teeny, tiny bear! It was very hard for me, but prayers are answered and she finally said "mommy do this for my I am tired!" YEAH!

Ok may I start off by saying I am not still. My day begins at 6:00 am and ends usually around 11:00-11:30 pm. I also like to talk. Hmmm...it's true. What can I say, it's a gift. Now I can be still and quiet if I am truly focused on something, but I do my best work under pressure, right down to the wire.
Sooo....where is this all leading to? Sitting still, being quiet and listening to God. I have shared before that I have been blessed to hear His voice audibly and in my heart. I have also had visions in my dreams. So that kind of makes me feel special and I thinketh to myself that when I ask God about something He is going to speak or give me the answer I am looking for right then and there. Hmmmm..not so fast grasshopper. Any Christian knows that He will speak, show up do whatever He wants in His perfect time.
Anyway I was beginning to feel a little neglected. I wasn't mad or upset at God just tired of waiting for an answer to a question I had asked what seems forever ago.
So today at lunch it was nice and warm out so I got in my car, parked and sat there and was still and quiet. Guess what happened? That's right,He spoke to my heart and answered me! You may ask "are you sure it is Him?" Of course I'm sure! If I had known the answer I wouldn't have asked and I could have never come up with the answer He gave me! Which was incredibly wonderful and oh so simple.
I think I am really going to start practicing the be still and quiet thing. I will only do this when I am alone because when ever I get quiet in front of friends and family they think something is wrong or I am sick....go figure

Eagles & Geese

Do you ever have a morning where you wake up and you just know that something or someone is going to touch your heart and open your mind and eyes in a way that will change your outlook on things? Well, that happened to me this morning.
First, I turned on Joyce Meyers as always and she was speaking about Commitment and used the eagle as an example.
The Eagle
After the first year of life an eagle is pretty independent. It can soar a little, it can use its talons and it's eyes are a little sharper.
During the 4th year it begins to feel a little different. It goes through a change. He is growing up.
Now he looks for a mate, not just any mate but mate for life, a commitment. But girlfriend is not going to make this easy!
He spots the lady of choice, she notices. now to test him she will pick up a twig and soars 10,000 feet in the air and then drop it! If he is interested he will soar down and pick up the twig. Oh, it doesn't end there! This girl is looking for a true blue guy! The real thing! So she does this several times except she picks up lighter sticks, flies lower and drops them and he must pick them up but now they feel heavier. If he is committed he will keep doing this. The last stick is the heaviest one and he must catch it in air. If he doesn't she flies off! Now if he does all of this for her she knows he is the one. She will soar in the air and fly on her back. He will fly over her and their talons will connect and they will begin to fall to the earth until right before the hit! He would rather die than lose her. They mate for life. If she dies he will take care of the kids. Now if this doesn't take Isaiah 40:31 to a whole new level then you don't get it!
How committed are you to Jesus Christ. He is committed to you. Now most people would just look at all the bad things in their life and never the blessings. Well another cool thing about eagles is they know the storms is coming. They do not run from the storm they allow the storm to lift them above it! That is what we should do with the trials in our life. Let them be lessons and learn from them. Rise above the storm!

Geese
Well as if starting my morning out with the eagle story was not awesome enough as I was getting in my car this morning I heard a flock of geese above me. I looked up and there they were in there typical V flying mode. Geese always fly like this. But if you see part of the V missing you will not see in geese that are already in formation make up for it. It will stay empty until the lost geese find their way back in or if one has died it stays empty.
As I looked up and saw this I said out loud to Kennedy " I think we are about to witness something pretty cool." As I buckled her in, I heard geese again and this time it was the lost ones. They were flying around looking lost and a little frantic. I got in my car to follow them. Sure enough here comes the flying V looking for their lost friends. The lost geese start flying as hard as their wings would allow to get back to thier friends in the V formation. When they caught up with them the lost geese went right back into their spot in the formation. It was an amazing thing to watch.
It made me think of our relationship with Jesus. No matter how many times we fall out of "formation" or in other words if we stray from Him or His word, he will not leave us or replace His. He will always come back for us and if we have any sense we will follow Him.
Amazing how simple an Eagle and Geese life is. Today I learned so much. I believe God knew that I needed the Eagle analogy and too see the geese. He knew I would get it. I hope you do too.

Cameron

Cody trying to get Cami to tell him what she wants for her b-day!

Today Cameron is 10! All adoptions are special but Cameron's has a special twist. Her adoption was because of the prayers of her sister Jordan. Have faith like a child and see what happens!
I had 'aged out" of the Korean program and as much as we wanted a baby sister for Jordan from S. Korea the odds were against us. But we serve a big God and Jordan believed! She asked Him for a sister and because she had the faith we were blessed with Cameron. A little girl who they thought may not sit up, walk, talk or do a lot of things. But this little one came here with attitude and still rocks our world everyday! She is is off the scale in everything! Again I know somewhere is a woman remembering this day whose heart is torn. She loved Cameron and because of that love wanted her to have the life she could not give her. And as I said with Jordan, my hope & prayer for her is to know that her family loves her and will always be there for her.
Happy Birthday Soo Hee! We love you!

Jordan

Cody taking Jordan shopping for her birthday.

14 years ago today a precious little girl with rosebud lips was born in S. Korea. Little did we know this little one would change our lives in ways we never could have imagined. She would introduce us to the world of adoption and show us that blood does not make a family, love does. When my husband who flew to Los Angeles to bring her home, placed her in my arms, I felt just like I did when my sons were placed in my arms, like my heart was going to burst with love.
But our joy also meant there was a woman who gave birth to this beautiful girl and because of her unselfish love for Jordan, she gave us the greatest gift of all, a child. I pray that not only today but for always she will know that Jordan is a kind, good, loving, beautiful old soul, who thinks of her often. She is a wonderful daughter, sister and friend. Most of all I would want her to know that she is loved unconditionally. Happy Birthday Myung Hwa you are Bright & Beautiful.

Sad Dog

This is my sons dog Brody. Actually he was a birthday present to my self last year, but the minute my son came home on leave it was love at first sight and he became Dustin's dog.
He misses Dustin a lot. A few months ago I looked in my backyard and there was a blue heeler pup. He was the cutest thing and had blue eyes kind of like Brodys except a little darker. He had crawled under our fence from our new neighbors house. The neighbors are a pain but we fell in love with the puppy. Every morning at the exact time he would come into our backyard and then come up to our sliding glass door and look in the house for Brody. Brody would get so excited and then they would spend all day out back between the two yards playing. It was so funny to watch.
Yesterday I noticed that Oreo (the pup) didn't show up. Seems his masters moved in the middle of the night and took Oreo with them. Brody has looked out the window since then. When he goes out he looks and looks for Oreo. It is just sad.
What is really pathetic is the fact they have like 10 cats and this one cute dog and they don't take care of any of them. I just hope wherever Oreo is he is ok. I kind of hope they didn't move to far and that he runs away and shows up in our backyard!

Grandkids

After a game of nerf wars

Jaylon & Amiya


My grandbabies...They are so much fun. Poor Jaylon is out numbered around here, 4 to 1. So every once in the while grandma has to bring out the nerf guns and we have a nerf war. It is so much fun. It takes me back to when my boys were little. It is true they do grow up fast.
When I am around my kids and grandkids I know that this is what makes me happy and peaceful. When I am around them I feel the love. They keep me young and active.
I want too leave them a legacy of love & hope. I want them to know that they were loved. I want them to go out in to this world and make a difference. I want them to know that God was my heart and because I accepted Him as my Saviour, my life was beyond blessed.

Hi/Low Thursday

I am going to start with my Lo because it leads to my Hi.
Lo- was my 19 year old son deployed o Monday,but the night before him and 3 friends were attacked by 10 jerks.
Hi- is the fact God protected him (he has hit from behind and knocked out.. a concussion, black eye, split lip yada, yada) and he will be ok. He was able to deploy and is setting out to do what God called him to do when he was 9 years old! God had promised me if I gave Dustin my blessings to serve our country He would protect Him. I believe it!

Freedom

Dustin is on his way.
I found this poem on the marine parent support group I am on. I hope that someone who dislikes the very men and women who fight and sometimes die for our many freedoms will read this and understand that they have CHOSE too fight for YOU.
THINK ABOUT IT!

"Bootprints"

He steps onto the bootprints embedded in the sand
Bootprints of another who has walked that dusty land.
It is his turn to "cycle in" his journeys' just begun
It's time to relieve his brother and the job that he has done.
The battle will continue on, the long months lie ahead
It's time to send his brother home, to stand his place instead.
In silence they exchange a glance, each passes by the other
Unspoken words of grattitude, Semper Fi, OohRah my brother.

Bootprints of another kind, belonging to their "Mothers"
As one steps off, the other on, they wonder about each other.
They've shared the same emotions, just both at different times
It is her son that's coming home, the one deployed is mine.
And yet I know within my heart, when needed she will step
Back upon those bootprints, and not with one regret!
And so in time I will accept the torch that's passed to me
And carry it with endearing pride for our son's across the sea.

Prayers for Dustin

Dustin deploys in a few hours. But last night while he was at a friends house watching tv and just hanging out enjoying their last free night in the states for a while some guys came up and started trouble. Dustin went outside to see what was going on. They were attacking one of his friends. Dustin ran out to help him and got hit from behind and knocked out. His other friend runs out to help Dustin. There was Dustin and 3 other guys and about 10 of the guys who for whatever reason came to the house. Dustin doesn't remember anything, but they said he stood back up and they nailed him again. He has a concussion, busted lip, chip tooth and a bruise on his face. After the guys ran off, they found Dustin in the desert (part of the yard I guess) called the police and the police called the ambulance. No Dustin and his friends are not in trouble, they were attacked.
What truly disturbs me is this not unusual. Some of the locals do not like the marines and this happens often. So basically idiots going around attacking the people who defend them. What is wrong with this picture? God has to be looking down with a broken heart.
I am asking for several prayers. One that Dustin heals, that he is not delayed in his deployment because of this (it would mess a lot of things up) they catch the guys that did it and that he will come home safe from his deployment.

Are you through?

There is the innocent "are you through adopting" and the "I hope your through" adopting question. The second one irritates me too no end. When my husband and I are asked that question I want too say to the person " are you through eating, shopping, breathing, having children, going to work, SERVING GOD?" Well?
I went to the grocery store and saw a friend. We started talking about adoption and she asked me if we were "through" I am getting to the point I gag on that question. I told her we would never close the door on a child if God called us. I got the "are you crazy" look. sigh. May I say right here and now if God calls us too adopt again then we will! And if this happened this would affect you how? We would never shut out Gods plan for our lives. I would like too remind those who know us that because we were called to adopt and were faithful and obedient we were blessed beyond belief with 3 daughters through adoption. Our sons are wonderful blessings from God. My point is this, we were so happy with our little family but God had a different plan for us and we are so glad He did! Our sons are feel the same way. Our daughters have the most wonderful big brothers! They would do anything for them. As a matter of fact they have said if something happened to myself and my husband that they want to raise them. Of course I have some great girlfriends and sisters who would help! But I think that says a lot for our sons.
I would never question Gods calling on someones life...never. I would never go up to someone and say "Oh, only one child, two children, you don't plan on having or adopting anymore?" So please don't question us. This is what God, not man has called us to do.
Now with that being said I do feel God is getting ready to do something "big" in our lives. I have no clue what that may be, but whatever it is I know we will be blessed!

When God Calls

Well you can't hide from Him! Let's see, if you ignore Him you will miss out on a great blessing and being a blessing. How sad is that?
I have been blessed to hear God speak audibly and in my dreams and in His still voice to my heart.I can honestly say there are things He has asked me too do that have terrified me.
Fly on a mission trip to S. Korea. My thinking was God made birds to fly! Up until that time I was terrified to fly. My husband works for an airline so we are blessed with that privilege, but whenever we had to fly I was so scared, I don't think I breathed until we landed. I wouldn't eat but Mike would make me take the food so he could eat it! Gotta love him.God called me to go on this mission trip to Korea. Our oldest daughter went with me and was blessed too visit her homeland. We were able to play, hold and feed orphan and we feed the homeless and did some service work. Of course we were blessed to bring home our friends baby boy they were adopting. I had no choice but too trust God and go. It was one of the most amazing events of my life. Now I have flown to Korea three times and Vietnam once! I can't say I love to fly, but the fear is gone.
When Dustin told us he was joining the Marines (which he had planned on doing since he was a little boy, but who would have thought....) I was so angry and upset with him. It was all about me and my feelings. All my son asked from me was for my blessings but I could not, would not give that to him. Slowly God began working on my heart. It was getting closer and closer to the time when Dustin was going to sign those papers with or with out my blessings. One day on the way to work I cried out to God asking Him to help me with this. A couple of minutes later I heard very clearly "Elaine give him your blessings, I will take care of him." I thought someone was in the car with me! This great peace came over me. I looked in the back, I checked the radio, it was off. Then I realized God had just answered my prayer. That night I was able to give Dustin my blessings. He hugged me and said "that is all I wanted momma."
Adoption. I became a christian at 37. Dustin was 2 years old. Mike had been asking me about adopting a daughter since shortly after Dustin was born. I kept saying no. Can you believe it? But it was true. I was perfectly happy with my three sons. This was the first thing I can remember God working on my heart about. I began doing my homework on adoption. Then there was no Internet so everything was by mail or a phone call. One day I am at the water park with my three sons and I hear a small voice in my heart say "Elaine, look up." I did and there I saw a Caucasian women with two little Asian girls. I knew right then I was ready to adopt. I went to a pay phone called Mike and the rest is history. A year almost to the day Jordan came home.
Four years later God spoke to my four year old daughter. She wanted a little sister from S. Korea. I was older and had reached the age limit for adopting from there. I told Jordan we need to pray and whatever God says that will be the answer. She insisted we stop right then and pray in the car. So we did. A little later she said "mom He answered me." I said who? She said "God and He told me it was ok with Him if we adopt a little sister, but now it is up to you and daddy!" Huh? I looked at her and I knew she was telling me the truth. What can I say, that was July 1999 and in a remarkable set of circumstances that only God could have planned, Cameron came home in April 2000!"
About four years later God laid adoption on my heart again. Now I was much older and I kept thinking "you have got to be kidding me." But He wasn't. About that time a little girl was born in Vietnam. It took 2 years of God speaking to me and me convincing Mike I hadn't lost my mind that this was God before we began the process for China. Yes China. But again God had another plan and in January 2007 I had the honor of traveling to Vietnam and bringing home our daughter Kennedy.
Since then God laid on my heart Hug Away. Ohhh...talk about a blessing. This past year has taught me so much. When I felt like giving up, I would pray for strength and guidance and God helped me. Hug Away has not been easy, but it has been a blessing!
Now God has laid on my heart that He is getting ready to do something else great in my life and all I know is when He speaks I listen and I have to be open. I told my husband that means him too! How exciting. I have no clue what it is but I know it is going to be AWESOME! I am so ready.
Gods plan was for us to have a life of happiness, joy and abundance. He also called us to help the least of these, to give, to love one another. We can have the happiness, joy and abundance if we help those who can't help themselves, those who have no voice, give, and love on another.
God gave a gift and plan to everyone of us. It is up to us to ask Him for guidance and discernment, after all He did give us a free will. He never forces us to do anything. I hope today is the day you will believe and step out in faith.

Look at the nations and watch and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.
Habakkuk 1:5