Friday, March 7, 2008


This is our oldest son Michael with his son Jaylon.
It is kind of surreal to look at this picture because even though it has been 30 years since Michael was born, I look at this picture and think "where did the time go?" Our son with his son.
I love each of my children the same, but each of them hold a special place in my heart.
Michael's bio dad left when he was a little over a year old. Never had a thing to do with us after that. So it was me and Michael for almost 10 years before I met Mike, my husband. Michael and I grew up together. At the time there was a song out by Helen Reddy called "You and me against the world." It was about a mom and her son trying to make it. That was our song, because it often felt like the world was against us. I often worked 2 jobs, we were on welfare and food stamps at one point and had no car. But the one thing that was sure in our lives was we had each other. I wasn't a Christian back then and I believe I could have been a much better mom as far a quality time verses quantity, but lessons were learned. Michael lost two very important people in his life by the time he was 12, my dad and mom. Funny they were not the best parents to me and my sisters, but they were awesome grandparents! Again, lessons learned. They adored Michael, he was the first grandchild and the first boy in the family. My dad died when Michael was 7. I will never forget at his funeral when they handed him the flag from my dads coffin. He looked so lost. His eyes are big & beautiful a bluish green and all I saw in them that day were big tears and a sadness in his soul that know one could comfort. His papa Jack was gone. Four years later my mom died. I often thought Michael loved her more than me at times, with good reason. Had it not been for her, Michael would have spent a lot of time at a day care. She adored him and he adored her. Her death was painful for Michael. His nanny was gone. Again those eyes. The sadness in them. He was never the same after that. He lost something that he would never get back. Right after my dad died I met and married my husband Mike. After my mom died I became a Christian. Mike adopted Michael. Michael grew up and now he is a dad. He doesn't see his son a whole lot but when he does you can tell they adore each other. They have so much fun. Two guys just having fun! My grandson has these huge brown eyes. Like his dad when you look at his eyes you can see into his soul.
Like I said before I love each of my children the same but there is a special place in my heart for each of them. I have often told Michael that he saved my life. If God had not blessed me with Michael when He did I can honestly say I am not sure I would be alive today. Michael helped me grow up. Michael was my anchor in a stormy sea. Michael was my angel.
Your beauty...should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

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