Saturday, March 22, 2008

ADHD, Forgiveness & Grace

I have ADHD. Well it isn't so bad, but when I was diagnosed about 8 years ago it was the missing piece to the puzzle!

Here is my opinion as an adult with ADHD.

I think outside the box and there is nothing wrong with that. If I have an idea or dream and it doesn't work, I will survive and move on. I do not like thinking in the box. It makes me edgy, moody and unhappy. I am not talking about living by the rules, everyone should obey the rules, what I am talking about is not being afraid to be yourself and that it is OK to be different.

When I was growing up my family life for lack of a better word was a volatile situation. My sisters and I never knew what each day would bring, it was scary. I was born with ADHD, a lot of common sense and a sense of humor. That is why, I believe I lived to tell the tale. Trust me there were times it was pretty iffy. I was a little girl thinking that this was not a normal way to grow up, that there had to be something better out there so at the ripe old age of 10 I made a plan for how my life would be when I grew up.

  1. My kids would always know they were loved unconditionally and feel safe.

  2. My husband would be nice

  3. He would have green eyes and brown hair

  4. I would have 2 boys and 2 girls ( I have 3 each)

  5. I would be there for anyone who needed someone.

  6. I would make a difference

  7. I would break the cycle.

Not bad huh? I achieved all those goals and more. Why? Because in my mind it wasn't an option. ADHD may have it's negatives, but it also has it's positives. So if you have a child, teach a child or know of a child with ADHD give them a high five, a hug, encourage them, love them the way they are, focus on the positive not the negative, and tap into their gifts (we all have at least one!)

I met a mom whose grown son has made some mistakes, big ones and he is trying to straighten his life out. But how can you move on and forgive yourself when you own mother can't seem to forgive you? He is in his 20's and I think he has ADHD. I believe the mistakes he has made were not intentional, he didn't set out to hurt anyone, as my very good friend says they were "errors of the heart." He is alone and trying so hard to get back on track. I know his mom is a Christian and If she reads my blog I would ask her this, Why can't you let go and forgive this precious child? Jesus died for you and forgave you and as a believer He fully expects you to do the same thing. My boys have pulled some doozies! But never, ever did they doubt our love or them. That doesn't mean we condone what they did and there were not consequences to deal with, but they know without a doubt our love for them has no boundaries. My husband and I treat our children like our Heavenly Father treats us, with a loving, forgiving heart but we also let them fall down sometimes so hopefully they would learn a lesson. Sometimes it took several falls! I pray that this young man's mom will understand this and open up her heart. You only have one life to live and it would be shame to live it in anger and unforgiveness.

As I look back I truly believe my parents had their own issues to deal with. Back then you didn't talk about it, there were no Dr. Phil's or Oprah's on T.V., no self help books. You just woke up and did your best. My mom and dad died a long time ago. No matter what happened, they were my mom and dad and I loved them with all my heart. I use to only think about the bad times, but as I grow older I remember the bad time's less and the good times more. That is what forgiveness and grace are. It let's you see the good and forget the bad.