When I am going through a hard time or things are not going my way, it is very easy for me to take a dip into my pity pool! Poor me, poor poor me. Nothing is going right,I try so hard, WHY ME???? WAH!!!!!Isn't that pathetic? Good grief. It is during these times that I need to remember how blessed I am. Why is it so easy for us to focus on what is going wrong in our lives instead of what is going right? I have no idea but I don't believe hanging out in the pity pool is what God had in mind for our lives.
A couple of weeks ago I decided to make some changes. I am changing the way I react to certain things. Like with my husband, when I know I am right and he is wrong but he thinks he is right, I let him keep thinking he is right! ;) How I react to my fears, my insecurities, parents who decide to stop their car, dress their kids and feed them breakfast in the drive thru drop off at school, drivers who pull out in front of me like they are going to miss happy hour at Sonic and then come to a crawl and there is not a single car behind me and everything else that drives me nuts. Some of these things may seem silly, but if little eyes are watching and little ears are listening then it is a very big deal!
I decided to live a life of excellence. Of course the moment I made that decision is when satan decided to throw me a curve ball every time I went to bat. I would be lying if I didn't fess up and say that more than once I felt like giving up. But giving up is not an option. God never said it would be easy but He did say to trust Him in everything.
God has been very good to me during this change. When I felt like giving up He kept me going. When I wanted to argue with Mike about something He helped me keep my mouth closed (that one was hard!) When I am fearful of certain things going on in my life right now, He calms me down. After a couple of weeks I realized doing all of this was becoming easier.
Now for those of you who see me often please don't think I am walking around with a halo over my head and that my little horns are not going to pop up once in a while! I have a very long way to go but I have come a very long way and the point is I am making a conscious effort to change. Like today when the mom parked her car got out and talked to her kids in the drive thru drop off, not once did I roll my eyes or think a bad thought! Baby steps I tell you!
When I go to heaven and I see God face to face I hope He will smile at me, reach out His arms and give me a hug and say "I knew you could do it." Oh that would be so amazing!