Monday, October 20, 2008

My side of the story

One of the reasons I started a blog was so friends and family could follow our journey to adopt our daughter Kennedy. After she was home for a while I still wanted to blog. I realized how blessed I am and yet as a christian my life has it's ups and downs. Yes it is true just because you are a christian doesn't mean your life is perfect, being a christian gives you power on how to handle the ups and downs. I wanted my blog to be real and honest.
Most people who read my blog will have no idea what I am talking about, but there are many who will.
I have heard some rumors about myself and some friends and as for my part in this story I just want to set the record straight. If you feel the same way after you read this that is fine, I just want to make sure everyone has the facts.
A little over a year ago I left a job I loved very much. Not only did I love my job, but I loved the people I worked with. You can't ask for more than that. Sure it had it's up and downs but what job doesn't? I left my job, because I felt for whatever reason my job was phased out. It was like the elephant in the room that no one spoke of. No one had to say anything it was pretty obvious too myself and a few others that for what ever reasons I was not needed anymore. So I took the high road and I used my foundation as the reason to leave. Deep down I was hoping this was all part of Gods plan and that is what I was supposed too do. But deep down I couldn't figure out what was going on. The same thing had happened to my friend a few months before. We both loved our job and were passionate about it but for what ever reason we were not needed or wanted anymore. I was so confused and hurt. We had just adopted a beautiful little girl and financially me leaving the job hurt us and we are still trying to play catch up. I focused on Hug Away went to work partime and put my trust in God. But oh I missed my old job and my co-workers. They had been such a huge part of my life for so long.
The foundation was going well. My friend took her gifts and passion and used them to start a business. Two friends who had done a lot of volunteer work for us and a lot of other people contacted me and my friend asking us if we would like to start doing the same thing we did at our old job. We said yes!
In our hearts all we wanted to do was use our gifts and passions again. We never thought of ourselves as anything but adoptive moms, with beautiful children adopted from other countries wanting to make a difference. It sure wasn't about money or kudos, it was just about our children, these precious babes from different parts of the world, the ones God had entrusted too us. It was and will always be our responsibility too do everything we can for them.
What we didn't plan on was that this would upset others, making them mad at us, talking about us and thinking whatever else they were thinking. Personally I am always happy when my family or friends are happy. I have no ill will towards anyone. As a matter of fact I still recommend where I use to work to anyone who ask me about it.
Even if I don't understand how things got to this point, a piece of my heart will always be where I use to work. When I look at pictures of my daughter when she was in Vietnam with the two people who helped bring us together I cry. God used them to bring us our daughter and I will never forget that and it will always be one of the most important parts of her story.
I would hope that people would understand that when God calls you to do something you have to take that step of faith and do it. It doesn't mean you are in competition or out to destroy anyone, you are just being faithful and using your gifts. I would expect no less from anyone else. I believe God gave each of us gifts and there are enough people in this world for all of us too bless.
For me personally I can't work where I use to so God has opened doors for me and my friends to use our gifts somewhere else. I hope everyone will just realize that and respect it, just like I respect them.

There is so much more I want to say, but I am tired and need to go too bed. I will pray tonight for hearts to heal, friends to stay friends and lift each other up and for all of us to realize that our focus should be on Gods desire for our lives and not each other.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Phillippians 4:12-13

1 comment:

Gayle said...

Every now and then I lurk to catch up with you. Miss you my friend.