If you have read my blog for any length of time you know this last year as been one of ups and downs. Exactly one year ago next week I left a job I really loved. I didn't want to leave but it was apparent I needed to exit. All of the sudden I had nothing to do. So I saw it as an opportunity to do what God had called me to do with the Hug Away Foundation. I can say there are days I think "OK God what else could you possibly teach me today? Is there anything left?" The answer is always yes. I would be lying if I didn't admit to you that I am physically, emotionally, financially wore out. But never spiritually. That is what keeps me going. Faith.
I think I have been open to the fact I had to hit my lowest lows to get to the point where I would actually reach up to God. Again, to be completely honest there are days I have felt He left me hanging because I sure didn't feel Him reaching down. But I know that I know He is there and prayers will be answered. They say that what doesn't break you makes you stronger. Well if that is the case...
This week God has showed me through our lesson in Sunday school, worship and scripture that I have to depend on Him and the things that have happened this past year were lessons to teach me to give God control. I may say I give God control, but as long as I continue to take things into my own hands then I am not trusting Him let alone depending on Him.
I have a huge decison to make. The answer is pretty obvious, but the effect it will have could be very stressfull in more ways than I care to think of. If I let go and do what I beleive I am suppose too do, it will truly be in Gods hands and I will be totally depended on Him. If I don't give it all too Him, I would have control of something I should have let go of long ago. The answer seems simple doesn't it? We are talking complete and total faith. Will the flesh win over the spirit or the spirit win over the flesh? I hope I can say the spirit will win.