That is how I feel right now. Extremely unworthy to do what God has called me to do. Tonight as I was going through the list of children we have who need sponsors I realized 51 have sponsors and 103 still wait. Almost 2 years since this program began and we still have 103 kids waiting for someone to spend a measly $30 a month to change their lives.
Don't get me wrong I am honored to have been chosen to do this. But having 103 kids waiting and some of them getting read to age out is unacceptable.
I'm also mad! People think nothing of buying $30 worth of beer, pop, coffee, cigarettes, or get a pedicure or manicure...I could go on and on but if I approach them about sponsorship I get this "I really can't afford it right now. Things are tight.'' Really?
See the young man pictured above? He has nothing. I mean no food, no bed...nothing. He is 13 and he has waited over a year for someone to step up and say "You matter and I am going to help you."
I have 102 more waiting. All ages, boys and girls. Some who need surgery. Some who are starving. Try and go to bed with that on your mind and heart every night and see how you sleep.
It would take $37,080 a year to sponsor the remainder of these kids and if I had it I would, plus the $36,960 it would cost to feed them and their families ($3o or $2o a month looks much better!)
I often say "God if you give me the money I'll do it." But I know that's not how it works. We are all suppose to help.
Those who do sponsor understand this and I love them! Don't get me wrong, I totally understand we all have our passions, our gifts, the things we want to fight for. But what are we willing to give up to make these things possible?
Do I feel unworthy? Yes. But for whatever reason God believes I along with the help of some amazing friends can do this.
I am human, I am tired, I am overwhelmed, I am aggravated. But this I know:
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13